Regrets

Chapter 12

Freen's

I just got home from a solo brand promotion and a quick dinner with my friends and am now getting ready to resign for the day so I can rest early when my doorbell suddenly dings. I moved from the bedroom to the living room and headed straight for the door.

Shock was written on my face when I opened the door and the person standing in front of me was Becky. I opened my mouth to say something or even just to greet her but my brain failed me for I could not come up with any word to speak.

Hi. Becky uttered. I once again opened my mouth and failed to speak for the second time. Becky must have noticed it and spoke again. Can I come in?

O–of course. I stuttered. Finally. I stepped aside for Becky. She came inside and went straight to the living room, sitting on the only couch that was there. I opted to sit in the small dining that was connected to the living room, giving Becky some space.

I'm still not sure why she's here so I just stared anywhere but her and waited for her to talk again so that I'll know what she's here for. Though not too much, I can still feel my emotions surging through me. Having her in the same space that has just the two of us is still quite awkward for me after the last time we talked properly. Was that proper? Well, at least I thought so.

I can feel my palm sweating and I mindlessly brought it to my lap to rub it in my pants. I heard Becky clear her throat and I snapped my head up to her. You look nervous. She said giving me a look of slight concern. Well, I am. I ah– I don't why you're here, I mean I don't mind, but– I'm sorry this is just so sudden, Bec. You know I didn't expect you to come showing at my door so.. I told her nervously, rubbing my nape and looking around my condo but her.

I didn't hear her response a thing that's why I was forced to look at her, she just stared at me and I hate that I cannot read the emotions swirling in those beautiful orbs right now. I lowered my gaze to my lap again and sighed internally. Anytime soon now my emotions will get the best of me again and I might end up crying even before Becky can say anything.

Well.. I didn't expect to show up like this too. She said and if I am not mistaken she sounded nervous as well but I shrugged it off. I fixed my gaze on my lap, waiting for her to continue. The last time we talked here didn't exactly end up well. When I caught the tinge of sadness or maybe even regret in her voice, I lifted my gaze again to look at her but her eyes were still unreadable.

It was her turn to tear her gaze away from me and stare at her lap. Yeah.. But I deserved it. Everything you said that night. It was my fault after all. I held back the tear that was threatening to fall. I cannot cry this early. I don't even know what she's here for.

Dasha broke up with me. She suddenly blurted out looking directly at me this time. I returned her look, shocked. I instantly felt more guilty. I know it is probably my fault.

I shook my head as realization hit me. I let a single tear roll down my cheek. You told her about the kiss. She just gave me a single nod, her eyes not tearing away from me. I'm so sorry, Bec. It's all my fault. I told her remorseful.

Maybe that's why she's here. Maybe she wants me to talk to Dasha about it, and tell her that I was the one who initiated it. That's the right thing to do, after all. I've already caused Becky enough pain. Enough damage.

Becky just slightly shook her head in my apologies and was about to speak but I beat her to it. I'll talk to her Bec you don't have to worry. I will apologize for– for stepping in on the line so clearly and– and she'll take you back.

I heard her scoff as she looked at me again. I see you really just gave up like that. Her voice sounded hurt and I lost count now of how many times I was surprised just tonight. I stared right into her orbs and gave her a weak sad smile, I didn't want to but you made it pretty clear that night that there was no point in me trying.