Regrets

Chapter 11

Becky's

It has been 3 weeks now since the confession from Freen. We both managed to keep our act together for the sake of our work. I'm not sure if she tried to avoid me since then because I straightly avoided her since that day. I didn't even pretend with our coworkers and staff this time that we were okay.

When she dropped it like that last three weeks, my mind was in total chaos. It didn't help that I partly regretted what I said to her. But who could blame me? I was angry, I was hurt. I know she didn't expect me to come crawling back to her arms after she confessed but when P'Nam dropped another bomb yesterday when she had the chance to talk to me, I thought then I could've handled it better. Because I practically did run away from her too. She didn't get to tell me everything I needed to know and I doubt that she has plans to anymore after everything I said to her.  But P'Nam already told me everything. She left no details, especially the ones I could have never expected Freen to do.

-flashback-

P'Nam pulled me to the side after I fixed my things and was ready to go home. Earlier before our series shoot started, she told me that she'd like to talk to me about something, it kinda slipped my mind but I'm glad we were still gonna get to talk. When she approached me earlier about it, I knew it was going to be about Freen. I also knew I needed to hear anything P'Nam was gonna say, so I immediately agreed with her.

She got into a relationship with Saint just to push you away Nong. But I'm telling you they don't love each other. They faked it so you'll be forced to move on. Freen has it talked out with him.

I scoffed in disbelief when I heard what P'Nam had just said. What about the kiss, then? The viral video?

Well, to be honest with you, Saint really did like Freen. So at some point, they did try things out but eventually stopped because Freen doesn't really have it in her to like someone else while being hopelessly in love with you. I didn't know how to feel about knowing she'd come this far in pushing me away. In running away from me, from us.

Hopelessly? That's so stupid of her. She knew exactly how much I was in love with her. I responded.

P'Nam just nods her head and sighs. I know Nong. She was a total idiot with that move attempting to push you away.

She didn't just pushed me away, Phi. She left me, she abandoned me. So much for being afraid to mess me up. She dropped my heart broken and decided it wasn't enough so she ran away too. I told her, shaking.

I know, Nong. But you have to know she didn't exactly do all of that. She said, rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me down from crying so much.

What do you mean? I asked her curiously.

You really missed it, then. Maybe you're too hurt to see it at that time. I stopped crying because I got so confused about what P'Nam just said.

I don't understand. I answered confusingly.

Yeah, I figured. She said, chuckling. I waited for her to continue. Remember the time when Freen and Saint 'officially' got together? she started, making an air quotation. I nodded my head at her, remembering the time it did happen.

What did you notice happened after? She asked and looking back, all I really remember was Freen being not there and my heart was broken to millions of pieces.

Freen started to disappear in me. I answered simply.

And how about the things that Freen usually does for you? I confusedly looked at her and tried to think back again.