Regrets

Chapter 13

Becky's

I bit my lip in embarrassment as I hopped in on Richie's car. He was looking at me like he knew I did something unholy. His eyes were analyzing my face as he arched his brows at me, seemingly waiting for me to say something, anything that would confirm his suspicion.

I sighed in defeat. What? I asked feigning annoyance. He just continued to look at me and retorted. You tell me what. What happened? His voice was laced with suspicion. We talked okay? And it was good. So good. I whispered the last part mindlessly, breathlessly. When I realized what I'd just said my face flushed and when I turned to Richie his eyes widened and his mouth agape in utter shock.

What the fuck Beck did you guys have sex?! It was my turn to bulge my eyes out.

What?! No, no. We didn't, we just– t-talked okay. We talked. I stuttered. If you didn't call and interrupted us then that is exactly what would happen for sure. I can still feel Freen's mouth on me. On my lips, jaw, neck, and breasts. I closed my eyes for a moment needing to breathe properly as I felt how embarrassingly wet my underwear was.

I was interrupted playing the earlier events in my head when Richie talked back. Tsk. At least wear your shirt right if you wanna try and fool me you liar. It's inside-out. He said and my mouth hung open as I gazed down my top and saw that it was indeed worn inside-out. I felt my cheeks get even redder and I groaned frustratingly at myself.

I lifted my gaze to Richie once again and he's smirking at me teasingly. We kissed okay, but I'm not telling you more than that. I told him dismissively, determined to get off the topic.

Well, you don't need to. I figured out everything from just the way you're looking right now. He said, laughing.

Get me home, Rich. I uttered annoyingly and he just laughed at me further.

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I groaned as I recalled to Freen how Richie found out we did more than talk, more than just kiss. Freen just laughed her heart out at me as she regretfully said that she noticed my top before when she walked me out the door but got distracted by our kissing so she forgot to tell me about it. I rolled my eyes even though she wasn't able to see it.

It was your fault. I told her accusingly but not mean.

"I swear I forgot about it, sorry. But you were partly at fault, you know." She teased. "I got distracted by your wild kisses." She teasingly said.

You're making it sound like I've gone feral. I joked and chuckled at it. "You kind of did, baby." She giggled.

I fluttered with the endearment and smiled like an idiot before I rolled my eyes and retorted, Well I don't remember being the one who was sucking at the other's breasts like a baby craving for milk.

"BEEEEC!" She whined embarrassingly. I let out a laugh at her response. Got you.

Why, it's true. I responded, sounding like it was the most obvious thing.

"You didn't have to put it like that, though." She argued sulkily.

I'm not sure if I should be comforted by the fact that we weren't talking about what almost happened given the recent events between us. We almost had sex. And without a label. Maybe that wasn't important right now because the way I see it, and I assume how Freen sees it too is that we clearly know where each other stands in our life now. Nevertheless, we could've had sex and I won't regret it, not even one bit. But we clearly went too far from what I had planned and expected to happen tonight.

Originally, I was gonna apologize for how I ended that night she confessed. I knew I was kind of brutal but the moment she kissed me back, I lost all rationality right there and then and all I wanted to do was ravage her so good she'd forget all the hurtful things I said.

Now thinking about it, it was for the best that Richie interrupted us. I thought Freen was right. It was a little bit too fast.

We were just so carried away with the desire. Maybe those were the pent-up feelings that stayed hidden, covered, and buried for a long time, and now that everything has been said and done, all the lines restricting us from doing each other were easily blurred and crossed.

I was interrupted in my train of thought when Freen spoke again. "But seriously, Bec. We were so carried away by our feelings earlier that we almost did it. It's not that I don't want it to happen it's just that.." She trailed off. "I don't want us to feel rushed." I nodded though she couldn't see it.

Yeah, I get it. We'll take it slow, then. I offered, smiling. "We will. And we'll be taking our sweet time because I'm not going anywhere anymore baby. I'm not gonna lose you to someone else again." She sincerely said and I felt my emotions surge as I briefly recalled everything we went through.

Without much thinking, I just suddenly blurted, I love you, P'Freen. I heard her soft chuckle from the other line which made me smile. "I love you too, BB." She sweetly responded. My grin widened, but then I remembered I hadn't actually apologized to her yet.

I didn't get to tell you earlier but I was sorry.

"For what, baby?" She questioned.

For what I said to you that night, I was harsh and I am sorry. I answered in a small voice.

"You were far from harsh, Bec. I deserved it and we both know that. I pushed you away and when you were finally with someone else, I tried to sway you like a selfish fool." Her voice was laced with sincerity as she responded.

"I'm curious, though" She blurted. About what?

"If Dasha didn't break up with you.." There was silence for a moment as I waited for her to finish her question. "Would you mean everything that you said that night? I mean– would you really be okay with us ending whatever we have the moment you walked out my door?" She asked in a small voice. I managed a small smile to myself before I answered.

After learning about everything I was mad mad. And hurt. But I knew deep down I still love you. So if Dasha hadn't broken up with me that night, I probably would have eventually. But it wouldn't be just because I love you, you know. Dasha was..

"She was good. She was genuine to you." She finished off for me. I once again nodded even if she wouldn't see it. She really was and I felt like I didn't deserve her. Until the moment she let me go, it was my happiness that she was talking about. She's so selfless P'Freen and I admire her a lot for that. I smiled recalling back the moment with Dasha that night. I still haven't got to talk with her again but I hope she's doing okay.

"I know.." Freen responded. The silence loomed at each end of our line and after a few moments, I decided to talk again. We're going to Japan tomorrow! I happily squealed, deciding to navigate our conversation to a much lighter topic. "Yeah.." I heard her give out a soft chuckle. "I'm glad we're going there okay. I mean—" Freen trailed off and I just chuckled at her because I felt exactly the same. Me too, P'Freen. I said with a smile on my face.

We continued talking for fifteen more minutes before hanging up and saying I love yous. We conversed about what we were gonna do in the allotted free time for us to tour in Japan, our upcoming fanmeet with our fans there, and also our No More Blues MV shooting. We talked about all of those things, but both of us seemed to put aside the topic we needed to talk about the most. Us. I guess we're saving it for when we're finally together again.

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Hi fellas! This one is short because the next update would be the last one. But special chapters after! ✊

Also, so excited to share with you my new story called Until You. As I said before, this one would be much lighter.

The POV for my new FB fanfic is third person, and I also changed the format. No more bold texts lol

Uploading it very soon! Hope you stay tuned! Thank you to each of you who gives votes and comments to this story. Appreciate you guys! 🫶

Cheers 🥂