Not A Simple Engineer Boy! | ✓

096 • confessions | four

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Scrollstck- Suganthi Lakshminarayanan

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Krithika started crying.

"Darling, what happened?"

She sobbed, punching his chest with the force of a kitten as he tried to make sense of her sudden meltdown.

"You don't like it? Did you think we were going somewhere else for your birthday?" he reasoned, "No problem, tell me where you wanna go. We can hit the road right now."

She stopped crying as abruptly as she'd started, narrowing her eyes. "Really?"

His face scrunched in a mix of frown and confusion.

"You give me my best birthday and think that it's not enough? Xavier Lucifer Joseph, you ought to be the stupidest person in the world to think that."

His frown deepened as he rubbed his temples. "But... you're crying."

"Because I don't get it! What do you see in me that makes you treat me like... like I'm some fucking treasure?" She scoffed. "My friends think I'm just a boring, dark-skinned girl, my parents think I'm nothing but dead weight on the--"

"What?" he cut her self-deprecating spiral off mid-sentence.

She shot him a glare. "Ugh, Xav... why the hell do you treat me like this? Why the princess treatment?"

"Princess?" he scoffed. "Fuck that shit. You are my Queen."

Stunned by his confession, she stopped scowling and her eyes darted to his.

He held her face in his hand and stared into her teary eyes. "Do you know that when you're happy, your eyes sparkle like the starry midnight sky? They look like that fucking painting by Van Gogh, hypnotizing me like a drug."

"Do you know that when you're working, focusing so hard that..." He touched her forehead. "Here, there's a slight crease, a cute frown—so little, almost invisible to anyone, even yourself. But I see it. I see how much you love your work, how badly you want to achieve the best and nothing less."

She blinked rapidly, trying to absorb every word, fighting to hold back tears.

His thumb traced her lower lip. "And when you sing for me—god, when you sing—my heart turns into a fucking ballerina, twirling and spinning with your voice, taking over every nerve in my body, every cell fucking dancing in gratitude for the beauty of your sound."

He chuckled as he held her dainty hands. "Do you even know how much power your hands hold? I could hide in them and never want to return to this world until you want me to." Kissing each palm, he continued, "Every time I walk, it's because your hands have given me the freedom I never wanted, as I want to be jailed in your wishes."

Shuffling back, she stared into his eyes, seeing them shine with honesty. "Xavier..."

"Every day, every damn night," he continued, voice growing thicker with emotion, "I think about how you've changed me. You turned my life into something I never thought I could deserve. You pulled me out of the fucking grave I dug for myself when I thought I was already dead inside. You walked in, bringing color, love, and a reason to keep breathing again."

He cupped her chin, tilting her head up so she had no choice but to look him in the eyes. "I want to live, Krithika. I want to live every second of my life loving you. That's all I know about myself anymore. I love you."

He pressed his forehead against hers, the space between them closing as if he needed to pour his very soul into her. "I love you so much that it doesn't hurt me anymore. Loving you is like a balm for all the scars life left on me. Every inch of me is starved for it. I crave you, Krithika. I crave you in a way that nothing else compares. You're the oxygen in my lungs and the fire in my veins. You've healed me, and now all I want to do is hold onto you forever."

"I know that I'm not a perfect man. My past haunts me, and I might not be able to be everything you want in a man." His eyes glazed with unshed tears. "I'm old, I'm not the Prince Charming who woos a young rose like you, but I'm not a beast either, not at all, who would destroy you. I'm just a man, imperfection at its peak, who has fallen in love with you, and all I desire is to be able to touch your feet every day to know that I deserve to be loved."

"Krithika, my darling, my loving Kanmani, I don't know if you love me or not. I don't expect you to be forced into my life. But I know that I'll love you till my last breath, and no, there won't be any other woman in my life after you." He whispered, "Being in love with Subhadra had made me a passionate maniac like my Amma had told me, and I started to destroy myself when she left me. But..."

He reached out, pressing a soft kiss to her nose, his fingers brushing her skin like they were trying to memorize every inch of her. "Loving you made me realize that my life is worth something. It's not a tragedy. It's not a wreck anymore. You showed me that I can live, that I deserve to be here, in this body, in this moment."

"I've had enough of hiding my feelings. I cannot bear to lie to you when all I want is to love you every second of the day." He gave a quick peck on her lips. "And you ask me why you are my Queen?"

He felt her breath quicken, perhaps crushed by his confession. "I know it's all overwhelming to you, and I'm sorry if I scared you—"

But before he could say anything else, his Kanmani's lips crashed onto his, cutting off his words as she poured every ounce of her heart into that kiss. It was raw. It was fierce. It was everything.

A/N

Now, that was a tough chapter to write. I got a bit emotional and had to take various breaks in between to calm myself as it took ninety-six chapters (almost 80K words) to finally make my main character accept and confess that he deserves love.

Okay, I am not crying, that's just dust.

Do tell me what you feel about this and the upcoming chapters, always open to positive criticism.