Fools on the Hill ~ A McLennon Fanfiction

Two of Us?

A few weeks have passed. Paul sat on the couch surrounded by misery. He picked up the newspaper placed on the coffee table. Its headline read: "Beatles Tour Cancelled!"

Ringo was still in a leg cast, constantly hollering for food. In addition, he received a ton of rings from fans in the mail, some of which got stuck on his fingers and needed medical attention to remove. Typical Ringo. George was still in an arm sling, pissed off that he couldn't even play his beloved guitar. John's hearing had not recovered yet, in fact, it had gotten worse. He used hearing aids in attempt to fully hear again. And taking care of them all was none other than Paul, who was losing his voice and his mind from yelling so much.

They haven't had a band rehearsal in almost a month. Cancelling the tour only seemed to make sense. Lots of fans were disappointed, but even more were sympathetic for the band. Sales in Beatles records started to decrease.

"Paul get me this!" and "Paul get me that!" were the only phrases heard in the Beatles household. To Paul, it was sickening, and slowly driving him insane. Pattie had been around a few times to help care for the boys, but it was no use. There was too much stress. The past couple weeks lasted an eternity for Paul. He had to get out and relax.

Paul grabbed his car keys and headed outside. He would drive to the store, pick up some more medicine for his friends, and then drive out in the country for a while. 

***

Paul was waiting in the checkout line at the store. He noticed a man in the corner of his eye staring at him. He was used to it, people staring at him in public. But Paul didn't have this feeling over the past few weeks. He started getting nervous. The man seemed familiar, but Paul couldn't put his finger on it. Paul, at this point, was terrified. Paul was up next at the register and stopped paying attention to the eerie man in the corner.

"That will be $7.95." the cashier said.

Paul was about to take the money out of his wallet when suddenly he felt something push into his back.

"Listen to me, follow directions, and you won't get shot."

The object thrust into his back was a gun.

***

Paul was sweating. He was being forced into an unfamiliar building by a man he thought he knew from somewhere.

"Have I seen you before?" Paul asked nervously.

"You mean you don't remember me?" the man responded.

" I don't seem to remember anyone threatening me with a gun before. Heh."

The gun was pushed harder into his back.

"Keep walking. We're almost there. Just up those stairs."

Paul wondered if he was physically stronger than the man. He thought of fighting back and escaping. There were two things that stopped him: the gun and his own curiosity. If the man wanted Paul dead why hadn't he shot him already? If the man wanted money, Paul would pay him to politely fuck off and never come near him again.

The man opened a door at the top of the steps and shoved Paul into the room. It looked like a science laboratory. Paul suddenly knew who the man was. That bastard who once tried to get the stupid red ring off of Ringo's finger. "Oh no," he thought, "now what could he want?"

"Now do you remember me?" the man asked.

"What do you want from me?" Paul asked.

"Sit down." He pushed Paul into a chair. "Algernon, come here I've got him."

Paul tensed up. He couldn't retaliate against two of them. He was too weak and physically drained from staying up all night caring for his mates.

A fat man approached from another room. "Long time no see, eh?"

Paul was losing his temper. "What do you want from me!"

"Algernon tie him down."

Paul was suddenly restricted to the chair. He tried wiggling free but it was no use. "Please just tell me why I'm here." he begged.

"We're going to clone you."

A needle dug into Paul's arm.

"What!" Paul yelled.

"Well we um already cloned you, we just need to observe your behavior to program the clone as realistically as possible." The first man answered.

"You bastards! That's impossible! You can't clone people! Wait can you clone people? That's bloody wrong!" Paul was yelling.

"It's possible and it's already been done. Algernon, bring out the clone."

The fat man went back into the other room. He came back with what seemed to be an exact replica of Paul. He looked exactly the same and even had the same walk as Paul.

"My name is Professor Foot by the way and if you haven't guessed already, my partner is Algernon. Anyways, I'd like you to meet Faul McCartney." The clone stepped forward.

Whatever was injected into Paul's arm suddenly brought him to a state of complete calmness. He began to fall asleep.

"Okay Algernon, remember the plan. We're going to let Faul out into the real world on his own finally. Are you ready Faul?" Foot asked.

"Yeah man. What exactly do I do?"

"Whatever you'd like. Here's Paul's wallet and car keys. His car is a few blocks down in the store lot. Stay out of trouble, your tests are almost complete." Foot replied.

The real, unconscious Paul began to dream vividly. He dreamt about the good times he and his friends had at the Bahamas. There was no one there except them. John was trying to seduce Paul with a coconut. It was a pathetic attempt. John extended his arm out giving the coconut to Paul. "Take this brother, may it serve you well." he said.

Paul took the coconut. "Hey Ringo!" he shouted, "Catch!" he threw the coconut at Ringo. Ringo wasn't paying attention, of course, until the last second when the coconut hit him right on the head.

"Nice throw Paulie, you should join the big leagues." John laughed. Paul laughed too. When would Paul get to laugh again?

***

Faul was casually walking down the block. He was finally free at last. After years of living in secrecy, he was finally able to go outside without Professor Foot and Algernon. Two girls approached him on the sidewalk. "Paul can we get a picture?" one asked.

"Sure thing, love." Faul replied.

They snapped a photo and ran down the block squealing. Faul had to find Paul's car before people started hounding him for photos and autographs.

He identified the car by the license plate. He quickly opened the door and got in. The scientists hadn't let Faul drive a car for a couple of months. "This should be interesting." He thought.

He started the car and drove to the city. He thought about turning the radio on. He had to listen to a couple Beatles tunes if he was one himself, right? This car was new to him and he had no idea how to turn the radio on. Algernon never turned on the radio when he drove with Faul. He looked down at the console for one short second to figure out which button to press. It was too late.

The car jolted forward and collided with the one in front of it. Out of the corner of Faul's eye he could see a fire. He heard the shattering of glass and screams of people nearby. The car behind him rammed right into the back of his. His body flew out through the windshield. Everything went black.

"Stay out of trouble." Professor Foot's voice haunted him.