Jill pov
I've not been able to focus the entire day , I don't know what the fuck or how the fuck am feeling , I don't even know why I'm pressed on her like that.... cause I still am pressed ,it was 7 am I was not about to start shit
I think am the problem
But she be saying some hurtful shit anytime she splits I know they're many but sometimes even Maya insults me like yesterday and today and I sincerely don't process insults well I'd rather we go physical cause what u mean am stupid?.
I'm almost clocking out and am not ready to have an uncomfortable conversation yet and if I don't it's going to be a problem that I don't want to solve.
" JILL?!"
" Y-yeah yeah ?!", I respond as my friend startled me out of my thoughts
" Don't tell me y'all beat eachother up again ?" Lucky asks me
" No we didn't beat eachother again. And stop saying that bruv...." I answered getting irritated at how insensitive that comment was
" Damn c sorry...." She mumbles and leaves
" Just leave me alone Lucky mans" at this point I want to leave this place but where am I going I start thinking of my options since my time to leave is almost
She tries , soo I could too
I wish I was cool but I just had to be the entire problem
******
Since I got home I've been sitting on this bed for an hour now trying to decide on whether I should stir the pot and stay at my place or go back, and have an uncomfortable conversation
My phone lights up and guess who
♥️♥️♥️ : JILL?
Me : u mad ?
I don't even know why I texted her that sarcastic shit she's definitely mad it's 6:30 and am not there
♥️♥️♥️ : IM GIVING U 30 MINS TO GET HERE ..... STOP TRYING ME !
Me : stop yelling at me bruv😭
♥️♥️♥️ : sorry.....get here we need to talk
Me : en route okay?
With that I just called for an Uber and guess what the rider thought it was best to avoid traffic sooo I got there quicker and ready is what am not .
Deep breaths Jill , feel the air going through u
Shit it's not working and here we are let's get in
" Heyyi " she cooed coming towards me as I locked us in
" Heyy" , the tension here too thick
" Hug the tension out ?" She asks and I move into her embrace, hugging her back I guess this hug more I don't like how she can read me out sometimes.
" Why are we fighting? " She whispered on my neck and kissed on it as I let go of the hug " I don't know ..." I answered heading to sit down.
" Naahh babe tell me what's wrong?" she asks and I don't know what to say
" You've been Hella emotional and constantly starting shit trying me , u got my attention now tell me wassup " she continues talking frustrated clearly
Damn
" I don't know I'm just hurt at the way u treat and talk to me when u in a split I know u can't really control it but u can if u want to I just don't want to be insulted....... I can handle anything else u do but insults ......." I just ranted not noticing that I'm crying about it and I just put my hands on my face and took a deep breathe as I felt her move close and held me as I pulled my self together.
"Am sorry....I'll watch what I say okay?" She told me wiping my tears sounding genuine this is the most sincere I've received from her.
" And u have to stop slapping me at any inconvenience" she demanded letting me go looking sooo serious
" Okayyy drop the mug " I jokingly said
" Noo Jill am serious " she spoke sternly
Damn she big mad
" Okay I heard u " I replied to her raising my hands in surrender
" Soooo do u accept my apology " I ask poking my lip out
" I will if u explain to me why u dropped urself " , she asked and I just gave her a straight face, she really can spoil a mood
" There's no reason " I said moving away and something clicked she likes this back and forth and tension this sick fucker
" U want to keep fighting huh Maya?"
" No ! " She yelled
"Then what is it stirring shit up"
" I am not Jill, and If u're not always calm , straight face having bitch I want to know what u're up to. You keep doing surprising shit am just tryna find out ........ the other time u tased me just because .....Jill , u give in to intrusive thoughts" she told trying not to yell
" I didnt want to fight and u did soo I had to tase you" I yelled at her cause is she trying to call me toxic I don't even know what am saying shit is jus coming off my mouth
" It's crazy how loaded u are with fresh remarks! " she mumbled to herself but I heard her theres nothing fresh about what I just said
" And they don't even love me Maya,May wanted to fight me.... Do u even love me or I'm just a fixation, that's what I'm trying to find out " I busted out crying and sitting on the floor I don't even know why we going back and forth .
" What are u talking about do u love me shit Jill " she asked sitting Infront of me looking amused in disbelief of my actions and words
" Can we stop this cat picking , and u stop trying to manipulate me and actually be nice and yes I love u for who u are despite u been a pain in my ass and having narcissistic tendencies, I would not be fixated to that if I didnt love u woman" she explain looking mad frustrated
" Did u just call me evil ?" I asked and started breaking down damn I need to stop this shit
" I didnt call u evil baby, am just saying u need to be nice sometimes" she told me as she chuckled as if she wanted to laugh
" Come on let me feed u I cooked " she told me trying to cheer me up
" You did ?" As I wipe my tears
" Yeah I did baby" she replied while helping me up
"Accept my apology now !" I demanded and she just laughed and went to serve us food
" Not funny Baby " I said as I sat down to eat and she didn't say anything else other than randomly looking at me shaking her head
" It's not shit" I randomly said after a few minutes of clearing my plate and drinking water
" Ouhhh really ?" She asked with a big smile looking at my clean plate, knowing I never finish food
" I'm going to clean up" I need a shower arguing is a whole work out
" Keep it wet ,okay " she tells with a wink
" Accept my apology then I won't dry it much " I shouted enough for her to hear
" It's never dry but fine " she shouted back laughing
