The Truth Embarks a New Beginning

"Heartbreak"

I don't think I ever realized how much it would hurt to lose you. 

From my perspective, we were happy and could weather any storm. 

So, the thought of losing you forever never even crossed my mind. 

But we were on a lifeboat in rocky waters, and only one of us had a lifevest, 

and I let myself drown. 

I don't think I could have ever comprehended what it would be like to lose you. 

I see you heal yourself a little more with each passing day. 

I hear you laugh like you once did with me. 

I see you turn cold and distant the minute I enter a room. 

and I let myself want you, still. 

I don't think I could have ever predicted this outcome. 

We planned a future together, named our imaginary kids, and talked about where we would retire.

I try to heal myself and pick up the broken pieces, 

but I see how much you have grown without me there. 

and I let myself sink deeper. 

I don't think I ever wanted to lose you. 

and I know I never wanted to hurt you. 

I tried to work on myself, hoping we could give it another go. 

But when you told me you no longer loved me, 

my hopes for a future dimmed, and my soul broke even more. 

I don't think I lost you for a reason. 

I try to believe there are lessons to be learned for future endeavours, 

but I know you are the only one I could ever hurt for like this. 

I try to reprogram my mind to think of a future without you, 

But every time I close my eyes, I just see us. 

I want to believe I lost you because it was time to let go. 

But how can I believe such things when I'm sinking deeper into darkness?

I want to believe we will find our way back, 

to be better and bolder than before, 

but you told me you let me go. 

I want to know what you are up to and how you are feeling. 

I need to know I meant as much to you as you did to me, 

My mind is sprinting a marathon when I am just trying to breathe. 

I want you, and I know I don't need you, 

but you were the person I promised an always to.