When we were together I was constantly comparing myself to other girls.
I kept thinking "Oh, she has nice boobs. She has a great face. Oh, she's interested in the same things as you." And slowly but surely my self-esteem plummeted.
You seemed to know this, because every time I got jealous, you gave me more reasons to be. Every time I was unhappy because I could never be like the other girls, you made me feel worse.
I don't know if it was ever your intention, but...you made me become a mutated version of the kind of girl I thought you wanted.
It's now been three weeks since we ended, and I no longer compare myself to other girls.
Instead of feeling nothing but resentment towards all the girls you stared at, I now find comfort in the silence of my thoughts.
I now compare what we had, to what we should have been.
I now realize that you seeking comfort in me was nothing but that.
That instead of the words "I love you" meaning what they should mean, you said them so I would give you more of what you wanted.
We both were lonely.
We both sought to the safety of each other, but only I was the one who fell in love.
I don't compare myself to all the girls you wanted.
I now see that I was exactly the girl you needed.
You needed someone to keep you grounded, to stop you from destroying yourself, to stop you from leading on everyone around you.
We ended because you were done playing your little games.
I no longer compare myself to others, I compare the perfect bright image of us in my mind, to the dim reality we actually were.
YOU ARE READING
The Truth Embarks a New Beginning
PoetryWhen you feel like there's no way out, life laughs and toys with your pain. But, when pain is built on top of pain, the doors of mockery close, and you can walk out into the world, with a newfound understanding and acceptance of what shit you have o...
