I said, "I'm afraid I will spend entire years trying not to need you."
As if I wasn't certain. As if this wasn't my confession.
-
I should have known that my entire story was written the second my parents silver mini-van pulled into my new drivewa...
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"God this is so fuckin' nice," Victoria exclaims once we step into the AirBnB, a huge house right off the water in Palm Beach. I pat myself on the back to finding such a great place. "This is about to be the best week ever."
"Second only to that one week in 2012 when we were forced to read and watch the entire Twilight Saga," Michael corrects.
"Yeah, Calum I can't believe you made us do that," I say sarcastically, knowing it was really Victoria and I.
Calum nods along. "I was thinking we could have a repeat, eh?"
"Before we do anything, we need some food and some booze," Ashton announces with extreme finality. Nobody argues because we're all in agreement.
"We'll go grocery shopping tomorrow morning, so tonight we can just go out," I tell them.
"Okay, settle in and we'll assemble in twenty," Luke decides. "Three, two, one- DISPERSE!"
The boys dramatically dash off to go claim rooms, leaving Victoria and I to laugh in disbelief. "I swear they all share a brain," she says.
"A very small one," I add. I glance toward the window next to me, and see the sun starting to go down. "I'm going to go check out the beach, and then you can help me find a dinner outfit."
"Oh yes, I know you need my input," she jokes. It's a running joke for us because ever since we were younger, our aesthetics have been vastly different. Victoria is all blonde and pink and flowery and I'm all... the complete opposite.
I head outside to the beach, which is literally steps from the back door, and just stand in the sand. I look out at the water, reminiscing on my childhood. Every time I'm at the beach I'm reminded of my dad and the weeks I'd spend with him as a child, few and far between. They were some of the happiest times in my childhood.
"I'll never believe you actually believe Melbourne is nicer than Sydney."
I glance behind me to see Calum walking toward me. "You can't beat the culture in Melbourne."
"I can literally name a million places that have better culture than Melbourne," he laughs and I take in his smile. The long hair really does work for him- he looks amazing. All dark hair and dark eyes and his cheesy grin.
We watch the waves roll in as the yellow ball spills its yolk throughout the clouds, painting them yellow and orange and pink. "Thinkin' about your dad?" Calum asks.
"Yeah," I breathe.
"How is he?"
I sigh and give a small shrug. I keep my eyes on the water as I say, "Pretty much the same, which is good in a sense. There's good days, where he's telling stories about the glory days and playing Bob Dylan on the guitar," I smile, remembering just the other day how my dad retold the story of how he tried to write Bob on my birth certificate and the nurse wouldn't let him. "But then there's days when he doesn't know my name or doesn't want to see me or shouts at the nurses."
Calum places an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. His support anchors me to this world. Reminds me that I can't just float away to the place where nothing matters and my dad's not sick.
"And the twins," I groan. "God, they act like they don't care. They act like he's not their dad too."
I don't realize I'm crying until the pad of Calum's thumb is wiping underneath my eyes. "It's hard for them- for you all," he murmurs. "But they didn't grow up with him like you did."
"I know," I say softly. "It just all... just sucks."
"I know," Calum whispers. He pulls me into a full on hug, and I bury my face into his chest. Breathing in the scent of him until I calm down.
"How do I survive on the daily without you," I question jokingly, pulling away to look at him.
"I question it all the time, Bobby," he says matter-of-factly. "It must be a terrible way to live."
