Chapter 9-Clumsiness Causes 99% of My Life Problems

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After work, I headed home. While in the car, I decided when I got there, I would take a shower, clean my room, eat something quick, and go straight to bed! I was so tired.

Stepping out of the shower, I realized I didn’t have a towel. Fantastic, I thought. The world is going back to hating me once again. So, since I had been using my phone for music, I grabbed it and called Molly, telling her I needed a towel. You know what she did? She told me she was ‘busy’, but would send help soon. Ugh! Do you want to guess who she sent? Yep, she sent the Asshole.

“Well, well, well.” he smirked. I should have seen this coming. I’ll get you Molly!

“Just give me the damn towel.” I snapped standing behind the door with my head poking out. I was so not in the mood for this.

“I dunno. That was a pretty naughty little trick you played this morning. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you to do something like that, Love.”

“Well, I told you I wanted those keys. I believe I also said ‘hand them over and no one gets hurt.’ So it’s your own fault.” I chided. “ I gave you warning.”

“Eh. That part doesn’t matter, though.”

“Bullshit!” I said. “Now give me the towel. I’m freezing my ass off!”

“You really shouldn’t cuss so much. It’s not attractive on such ladies.” he said nonchalantly.

“The thing is, I don’t care. And what the hell do you mean by such ladies?” I glared at him, daring to say something back.

“Um... women like you. Gorgeous, independent,-”

“Nevermind just shut up. You’re not getting anywhere with your flattery.” I said slamming the door. Obviously, this wasn’t getting me my towel back.

“It’s worth a shot.” he said quietly. “Didn’t you want your towel?” he said louder.

“No!” I shouted in a pouty voice. He wasn’t going to give it to me anyway, cause he’s an asshole like that. “The little prick.” I said under my breath.

“Hmm... the less you have on the easier, I guess. Good choice, Love. Let’s hope you keep your opinion until later, when everyone goes to sleep at least. Unless you just can’t wait, and need me now?” he asked in a humorous tone, jokingly.

I was fed up with this. I partially opened up the door to yell at him and swipe my towel, but here’s the thing. He wasn’t there. His door had just closed matter of fact. Now I was getting super pissed. He took my damn-Oh, wait a minute, he must have dropped my towel. It was just a couple feet from the bathroom door.

Should I really grab this, and take the risk?, I questioned in my head. Well, as I mentioned earlier, I was freezing my butt off, so I decided to go for it. I stayed behind the door, and looked around the hallway to see if anyone was out there or coming. No one was, thankfully. So I used my dirty clothes to cover all things possible, and dove for my dark purple towel. Remember how I mentioned my clumsiness earlier? I think it’s kicking in now, because I stumbled over my own foot, and face planted right in front of...... *gasps* the towel.

But here’s where the trouble starts. It made a big thud noise, so everyone came rushing. And by everyone, I mean Andy and Noah. Noah later, because he was downstairs. I barely had time to wrap the towel around myself and stand up before Asshole got there. He stood in his bedroom doorway, and examined me, not even hiding it. Pig, I thought. And began walking away.

“Um Neveah?” he called after me.

“Nope. Just go away. I’m tired so leave me the fuck alone.”

“If you insist” he chuckled. What was that about? I wondered. Weird. Maybe he’s just been drinking tonight.

I got my towel on and bent down to grab my dirty clothes, and screamed. Not the squeal kind of scream either. I mean a full out blow-up-the-house sort of scream. There was a huge ass spider on my foot. I hate spiders, in case you didn’t realize from my earlier scream. Shit, shit, shit! I thought. I did the stupidest thing I could in that situation. I’m not a good fast decision maker. I screamed for Asshole, and starting flinging my foot, trying to get the damn creature off of my poor little foot!

Andy came running in, with a stunned look on his face. When he saw what I was freaking out and tearing up over, he clutched his sides and began laughing super hard.

“Please just help me get the fucking thing off my foot!” I cried. I really, really hate spiders. And this one was huge!

“Wow, Neveah. Just wow. It’s a spider. Not even that big.” he teased.

I started breathing super heavily. “Please just get it off me! It’s going to bite me! Please!” I said. My face was neutral, but I had tears welling up in my eyes and deep breaths.

“You’re really freaked out.” he pointed out.

“No shit dumbass, just help me!” I said. Where’s Noah when you need him? That fat little pineapple curtain rod! If I survive him I’ll chew him out.

“Let’s make a deal.” he proposed.

“Okay, okay just let’s hurry up!” I said quickly. It was crawling around on me! Eeeeeppp! All of a sudden, my phone started vibrating around and playing a Sleeping with Sirens song. He looked at me as if to ask ‘You gonna get that?’.”Hurry!” I barked.

“Damn, no need to rush things. My deal is you get to make dinner tonight. Then I’ll kill the spider.”

“Okay! Deal! That’s all right?” I asked suspiciously. No dirty things at all? Definitely drunk, I thought.

“Yep. I can’t cook for my life. Actually, let’s make it all the times I’m supposed to cook for this month.”

“Okay, just kill the dang spider!” I hollered. He laughed at me again, but he got a piece of toilet paper, and got the spider. Eeeww! It was squished on my foot. I needed a whole new shower. “Thank you.” I said quietly.

“Um.. ya sure.” he said awkwardly.

“Well, I’m hoping back in the shower, and then I’ll go make dinner.” I promised.

“Do you need any help in there, too?” he asked while doing that signature smirk, he uses so often.

“Nope.” I said flatly. Here we go again, I thought to myself.

“Relax. I was just joking. This time, anyway.” he laughed to himself. Then, he left without any problem. That’s weird. I locked the door just in case, and took another shower to rid myself of spider tracks. I found that the stupid little thing bit me! Right in the middle of my foot!

Then I went downstairs, and cooked some homemade pizza. He’s lucky I don’t hate cooking.

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