Cullens girl

27

Carlisle's pov:
After my baby boy has thankfully calmed down again and even more importantly accepted our love towards him again, I am more relieved than I have ever been in my whole existence. The shy and uncertain look on his face truly broke my heart for my sweet mate. Even more so, since he sadly always had a hard time believing us, that he indeed is an as important member to us, as everyone else within our family is. This also is the honest reason, why I am this utterly grateful that my darling princess and him right away formed such an incredible tight bond with one another. Both of them immediately trusted each other the most out of all of us. Which especially for my baby boy is nearly unheard of. He never trusted anyone right from the get go. Not even us, his own mates. It honesty took quite some time until he accepted the fact that we all only want the best for him, as well as love him with our whole heart.
„What the hell were you thinking Edward!?" I ask him rather furious the second my office door falls shut behind the both of us. The way Edward lowers his head alone, right away lets me know how depressed he is already. He surely must of figured out himself what exactly he triggered within his own mate. Even worse, a mate that was already rather fragile with a rather low self esteem to begin with.
„I wasn't thinking." he says with utter regret in his voice, while shaking his head in self loathe.
„He tried so hard to not slip into his subspace again and it just angered me since we already spoke earlier today that he won't do that any longer." he explains and right away holds his hand in the air to stop me from jolting him further for even thinking of doing something like that.
„I know how stupid that was from me! Don't you think I know how royally I fUcked up!? I have no idea what came over me back then, but what I know with certainty, is that I won't ever be able to forgive myself for what I put my own mate through. Especially since it's my sweet Jasper!" he goes on with self hatred and pain in every word.
„How am I ever going to be able to look him in his eyes again?! I am his mate! I should be the one protecting him from anyone that dares hurt him, not be the idiot myself that puts him through such turmoil!" he whispers in complete dejection. Since I honestly have no idea what I possibly could say to sooth him, or take away his self loath I stay quiet. After all I know that there isn't anything that could possibly help him at this very moment. So instead of saying anything stupid, I simply hug him tightly against me, as he brokenly cry's against my shoulder.
„You will have to talk it out with him whenever he feels comfortable to do so. But I don't know how soon that might be. I don't even have an idea when he will fully come out of his current haze." I softly explain as Edward simply nods along. Knowing just like I do that this is all in the air. It's after all very rare that something like this happens to someone's mate at all. Even less often does it happen, that one mate truly is, or was, petrified of their own mate. I am not sure I ever even heard that one mate actually feared their mate will actually physically harm them. The low whine from Edward right away makes me feel even worse for bringing it up yet again, but it is the simple truth, as sad and heartbreaking as it is.
„I won't stop fighting for my mate, I don't even care for how long I have to do so. Nothing is going to stop me from fighting for my sweet boy." he states matter of factly. His determination and certainty alone enough to make me believe his every word.
„I know that Edward and I am certain that Jasper also knows that deep down. But for right now, it might be wise to give him some space." I softly explain and right away see the utter betrayal shine in his eyes by my simple thought.
„I am not telling you to stay away from him completely. I simply mean that you should let him come to you first!" I explain further and see him calm down, at least slightly.
„Make sure he knows and understands that you are available at every given time for him, yet that he has to actually come to you for it. Just keep on telling him how much you love and adore him constantly, we after all both know how insecure he is and how quick he is in thinking that he is at fault for anything even if he isn't" I go on and slowly see the wheels turning in Edward's head. Seemingly finally fully understanding that I in no way am trying to separate them, but instead want Jasper to get the space he needs to make up his mind. There after all is no reason to keep on pushing him further, only to maybe trigger his panic even more.
„You are right. It's just hard to not be able to cuddle with him throughout the day and night like normal. But i understand that this is in fact my own fault. So I won't push anything and instead let him come to me. Just please promise me to step in if I do something stupid. I won't be able to live with myself if I hurt him even more than I already did." Edward softly says. The utter fright of the possibility alone that he indeed will hurt his mate even more than he already did, evident in every word he says.
„Don't worry Edward, I have complete trust in you that you won't do that ever again. Still, if it does make it easier for you, I promise I won't let you hurt him again." I state with certainty, yet promise him. It after all is what he asked me to do.
„Let's get back to the others. I don't feel comfortable with being away from them at such a critical time." I softly say as Edward right away agrees. Surely just as antsy to get back to our mates as I am.