The Body #2: Lucio and Janie

Chapter 28 (Janie): Own It

Copyright © 2024 by GroveltoHEA

I want to forgive you.

Those words popped into my head unbidden when Lucio had asked me if I could ever forgive him, and I'd surprised myself so much that I'd pushed off his lap to stand in front of him. Lately, our wedding night seemed like something that had happened between two different people in another lifetime. 

But I also couldn't deny that sometimes I still felt like that young, lonely girl who watched her dreams blow up in her face. That could have explained why when he'd pulled me into a hug, I'd allowed myself to enjoy it, even for a few minutes.

Over the years, I'd thought about that cursed night many times. If Lucio hadn't cheated on me with Chiara on what should have been our wedding night, I wouldn't have become Janie. Maybe, because of what had happened, Lucio wouldn't have turned into the man he'd become. Who knows when, or even if, we would have discovered the trafficking ring.

After Mamma had died, Papa used to tell me with a heavy sigh that things happened for a reason...but try as he could, he couldn't find any reason for her death. It might have been knowledge he wasn't meant to uncover in his lifetime; all I know is if Mamma hadn't died, Papa wouldn't have been responsible for raising me, I wouldn't have acquired skills no Body girl should have, I wouldn't have trained with my girls and I wouldn't have been anything beyond Lucio's dutiful wife someday.

Although I didn't waste a lot of time imagining what if, sometimes I went there and wondered if I would have been happy in the long run. If Lucio would have been happy. I don't know, but I wondered if both of us would be less lonely. I knew the look I often saw in Lucio's eyes because I'd seen it often in my own as I looked in the mirror and gave myself pep talks.

We were both lonely. We had our particular jobs, we both had great responsibilities that came with a dark side and that could make for a lonely life at times. It was why I could forgive myself for secretly enjoying the five minutes of kissing him, why I'd felt the tension dissipate from my body as his arms came around me. I craved human contact at the same time I feared that the softness of it would tear apart the control I had to wrap around myself to accomplish my goals.

Oh, I thought about it, though. I thought about how easy it would be to fall under Lucio's dark spell. He called to me on multiple levels. His strength, his confidence, his ruggedness, his surprising intelligence. He looked like an overgrown thug, but there was nothing simple about this man. As a young girl, I'd imagined he was a prince, and I thought that was what I wanted. I'd quickly learned he was no prince, but now that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted a man who challenged me, who infuriated me, who worked with me, who saw me as a partner. Someone who gave me a side of himself he gave no one else.

Just after I popped off his lap, as I was standing in front of him like an idiot, Lucio got an alert on his watch and immediately got up, pressing buttons like crazy. Heading toward the hall closet, he ripped off his dress shirt and reached into the closet and pulled out a black shirt and Kevlar vest.

"What's going on?"

He pulled the black shirt on over his head, then began strapping on his vest. "Have that MC under surveillance we suspect is helping with the ring supply chain. Two inside men down and the MC is moving, so we're finally moving. Should have someone for you to interview tomorrow, and as an added bonus, I should have a new lawyer for the Body."

Reaching into the closet, he opened a hidden panel and pulled out an automatic rifle.

"Do you need me?" I asked.

He almost glared at me as he gave me an answer I wasn't expecting. "I need you, Janie, but I'll never risk you." 

Quick as anything, he pressed a hard kiss to my lips. "I'll be back late. I'm taking Nico, but I have about fifty men surrounding the house."