𝔅𝔬𝔫𝔡: ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔚𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔰

Home Pt. 2

Amber

To my dear ocean moon,
I wish I was writing this under different circumstances but it has to be done. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving your side that night but I had nowhere else to go. I won’t make up excuses but I would’ve been a horrible mother. That’s all that came running through my head after having you. Holding you after the second time, I was scared. I couldn’t tell them, just for your safety I didn’t tell him.

I wanted nothing more but to be the best figure in your life. Be there to see your first steps, say your first words, make your first friend. Everything I’ve done and couldn’t have. I could’ve trusted Alex but she wouldn’t have understand or Vera. By the time that you’ve found this I’m sure you’d be at least twenty. I’m sure by now you're a strong independent young woman, living a better life than I once had. I hate myself for abandoning you, but I think I could be a better mother from a distance.
It’s okay if you still hate me for leaving you there, alone. But, just know I love you from the depths of my heart. You're my heart, and even when my heart stops I’ll smile still knowing that you're here to keep it beating.

                                 Love,
Mama

I sighed as I dropped the old paper beside me. I was already home and read the letter that was left for me. And that shit felt like a hot dagger piercing my skin. “Are you okay?” Viva was standing in the doorway with her hands in her pocket. “Yeah… yeah I’m fine,” I sighed, whipping my eyes. She walked in and closed the door, the AC was on. She stood in front of me, lilac eyes staring down.

“You don’t sound okay,” her voice turned soft. I rolled my eyes, “don’t pity me,” I sneered. “There’s a difference between caring and pity, Amber.” She crouched, meeting my eyes, “I just care right now, as a friend.” I thought about it for a moment. Now that I think about it, she doesn’t really know me. Not where I come from, nothing of my problems. I’m afraid that I may get close to the wrong person again, like her.

But I don’t know… Viva just seems more disciplined, more respectable, but still a player. I felt a hand on mine and she was still there. Her eyes filled with concern. “Why didn’t you want me?” Her brow furrowed confused for a second. “Why didn’t you want me?” was the question I asked myself everyday in that orphanage,” I muttered. “I hated her for it, for leaving me, but I didn’t know what happened to her. She never told anyone that she had me, not even Alex.” I slouched back, tucking my hair in the behind my ears.

A rugged breath left my lips, “I hated her, for doing that to me. I had a feeling she might’ve died but I still hated her for leaving me in this fucking world to fend for myself.” The tears were already flowing and I didn’t care to stop them. She was quiet, listening I guess. Tora was listening, her presence in my head was soothing. “I felt the same way, when my mother died” she spoke softly. My eyes caught her figure. “But I still had my cousin who took care of me.”

“You don’t then. You don’t have the full feeling of being alone. You had family, while I didn’t even know who the hell my father was.” She stood up with a small smile and placed a hand on my head. “Calm down, you're getting heated again.” She’s right, my skin was beginning to get warmer. “It’s okay Amber,” Tora said to me.

“Tell you what, get some sleep. I’ll make dinner for you,” she said, patting my head. I didn’t object, I was fairly tired and that's what I did.

Alexis

“Alex st-stop that,” she burst into laughter as I held her tender body close. A smirk grew on my face as I nibbled on her naked shoulder. “One more?” I kissed her neck as I waited for her answer. Her soft hand crested my cheek, “I wish but, I have an event to attend.” Her silver eyes glanced back at me with a devilishly playful look. I hummed, grabbing her jaw, connecting her lips to mine.

She giggled, turning to face me to deepen it. Angeline pulled away and pushed me back and climbed over me, whipping her platinum hair to the side. Our lips connected once again with a sense of urgency. Her soft touch as her hand roamed my body. Father, I just love this woman.

The buzz of my screen sadly interrupted us. I growled sitting up to see what it was, I should really start placing my things on mute. I realized it was Amber calling me. I pulled Angie closer to me and answered it, worried something may be wrong over there. “What is it young one?”

“Hey, um… I want to let you know I plan on coming home for a few days.” My brows raised in surprise. She wants to come back, already? “Okay, when?” I wasn’t going to stop her, the closer she is the better it is for me to monitor her for the time being. “Next week, maybe Monday morning or afternoon,” she answered. I hummed, thinking for a moment. “The jet will be there to bring you back. I’ll let Markus know to have you there personally. And when you arrive my home is open to you, understand?” She agreed to my command and the call ended.

I thought it would take a year or two before she would like to come back. Well, I guess she has her reasons. “So, she’s coming home for a while,” Angie muttered onto my skin. I nodded, tracing the tree-like marking on her side. Her bottom is still red from our previous activities and I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot. She pulled away with a small smile, before pecking my lips again. “I’d love to stay like this longer but we both know we have duties to attend to. Don’t we Ms. Morozova?” I smiled back, “yes we do Ms. Terra.”
– –

Amber

My match was scheduled for Friday of that same week. I only wanted to come a few days in advance because Alex would get suspicious. Monday came faster than I expected, and I was already at the airplane hangar where Alexis jet was. A few guards were already inside, they took my bags and secured them. I’m actually going back… I chuckled to myself for a moment. My body felt a little numb now that it’s really setting in. I closed my eyes so I dash to that quiet haven in my head. My head resting on Toras’ soft fur coat.

“How are you feeling,” she asked me. She kissed my cheek in a nurturing way. “Bittersweet,” I replied, my sights were straight forward. Ever since my first shift the atmosphere in the safe space changed. It had that red haze, it was still dark but the alluring light of the pools of lava made it a certain theme.

“I’m sure she had good intentions, Amber.” I sighed, clutching the collar of my shirt. “I know she did, it’s just…”

“You thought she abandoned you to run off with her lover, or got into a serious accident after giving birth to you. Don’t think those things Amber, she loved you and now as you're continuing to live, I know for a fact that she’s proud.” A smile crept up my lips. I met her gaze and the color in them were different. A brack-ish tint almost. “Now rest up and stop worrying,” she growled. I did as she asked.

When I woke up the plane was already landing, peeking out the window the familiar busy city was still the same. My heart started beating into my ribs for some reason. Why am I feeling anxious all of a sudden? The plane came to a complete stop and I unbuckled my seatbelt to retrieve my bags.

“Let me help you madam,” a guard said from behind. I shook my head, “I’m fine.” Stepping out I was greeted with a warm smile. I smiled back and hugged her. A chuckle rang through my ears as she embraced me. “I’m sure it hasn’t been that long since I’ve visited.”

“It’s been three weeks,” I retorted. She rolled her eyes and placed a hand on my head. “Welcome home, young one.”

***
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