LONG FOR YOU |1| HYUNJIN

[TWENTY-ONE]

🥟Hyunjin
March —2022🥟

I've hid in my room from Kim since December after she came back to the dorms, which is impossible considering we work together. She's been avoiding me like crazy. I think she's mad I tried kissing. I promise I'm not like that, I didn't think about doing that until she looked me in the eyes. Over and over in my mind, "kiss her, just kiss her." But why would I want to kiss her? You don't kiss someone unless you have feelings for them. Do I have feelings for her? I mean...

No, I can't even think like that, not right now. I should be trying to find a way to fix this. Stay can already sense something was up when we hadn't said one word to each other in our recent videos, lives, or interviews.

I felt sad, it's crazy how much once person could make difference. If I stopped to the rest of the members all together, I'd actually be depressed. They're the ones who I know will be forever.

I made yet another mistake today, earlier this morning I woke up a little late and breakfast had already been made by Lee Know. Kim was in the kitchen washing her dish and thought it would be a good idea to say good morning, break the silence, it wasn't  a good idea and neither a good morning.

She ignored me. Regardless, I decided to let her be and try again later. Again we're in the kitchen, I got confused, thinking she was going in for a hug to forgive me, as she should.... She wasn't going in for a hug, she was reaching for paper towels and I was standing in the way. I should've known that she wasn't trying to hug me considering she already had an angry expression on her face. I'm grateful Lee know, Seungmin, Han, and Changbin held in their laughter, at least until I got to my room.

I just don't get it.

Is she gonna keep making me look stupid until I work up the courage to apologize. If I made her upset by attempting to kiss her I wouldn't know what would make it better.

There's only one person I know that can keep a secret.

I put my sketchbook back into its place and run through the hall to his dorm. Knowing Lee Know and Han are out I'm able to sneak in no questions asked.

"I almost kissed Kim and now she's mad at me!" I jumped as I saw three boys—not one, three, playing video games in the living room. Seungmin and Jeongin were there too, yippee.

"You what?" Felix stood up in shock. Seungmin and Jeongin paused the game.

"Um..." Why didn't I knock?

"Tell us what happened." Felix said sitting, I sat down too and sighed.

"Okay, here's what happened."

— — — — —

"Damn, there's no way he had the guts to actually try it." Seungmin shook his head laughing.

"Yeah, I can't believe you called us "unsupervised babies," we had Han and Changbin with us." Jeongin frowned.

With my knees to my chest I rethought the whole situation. "What should I do, she won't even speak to me." I pleaded with my sad eyes for them to help me.

"I think you should consider why she's mad." Seungmin hinted.

"What do you mean by that?" I frowned, I already know why she's upset.

"I mean, is she mad you tried to kiss her or is she mad that you didn't and walked away." He implored. The thought of her getting mad I didn't kiss her is laughable.

"She's not interested in me, why would she be mad that I didn't kiss her?" Seungmin gave Jeongin a deadpanned look then turned to me.

"You're right, we have no idea why she'd be mad," his sarcastic tone seemed like he knew something I didn't.