the way things go [s. plinth]

x i

Ophelia sat under her tree, anxiously awaiting Sejanus's arrival. She twisted her fingers in the fabric of her dress. She didn't know what she should say to him. It was too scary, too complicated, to think about.

Ophelia pulled her knees to her chest and leaned her forehead against them. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing her tears to fall. She didn't know why she was crying. She had kissed Sejanus. And she had enjoyed it. She wished she could do it again. But there was more to it.

Her life could be over in less than twenty-four hours. She would be forced to kill others for her own possibility of survival. Yet, here she was, sitting under a tree, crying about a boy. There were other things she could be thinking about, yet the only thing on her mind was the person she was leaving behind.

"Phee?" called someone.

Ophelia looked up. It was Sejanus, standing near the bars. Ophelia stood slowly and approached him.

"Hey," he said softly. "Phee, why are you crying?"

Ophelia shook her head. "No reason."

Sejanus looked at her with an expression of concern. "Let's sit and talk about it, if you want to. And here."

He handed her a handkerchief so she could dry her tears. Ophelia took it gratefully and dabbed at her eyes.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"Of course. What's up?"

Ophelia shrugged. She looked down as she fiddled with her hands. Sejanus took notice and reached through the bars, taking Ophelia's hands.

"I'm sorry," said Ophelia.

"Phee, look at me," said Sejanus. "Don't be sorry."

Would he say that if he knew why Ophelia was sorry?

"You don't understand," said Ophelia, absentmindedly playing with Sejanus's fingers.

"You're right. I don't," admitted Sejanus. "But I can still be there for you. I want to be there for you, Phee."

"I know," said Ophelia. "I'm really scared, Sej."

"You have every right to be. I'm scared too," said Sejanus. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Ophelia shook her head. "It isn't just about tomorrow."

She blinked back tears again. She wanted to cover her face with her hands, but she couldn't bear to tear them away from Sejanus's.

"Is it the dark? Because I can sit with you tonight if you want me to," he suggested.

"I haven't been afraid of the dark since I was ten," said Ophelia, smiling faintly. "And I don't want you to stay here for my sake."

"Phee, I would stay by your side, no matter what," said Sejanus. "If I could go into the arena with you tomorrow, I would in a heartbeat."

Ophelia felt hot tears roll down her face. He didn't get it.

Sejanus looked at her. He looked confused and upset. "Ophelia-" His mouth parted as realization seemed to dawn on him. "It's not about what happened after the interviews, is it?"

Ophelia's face crumpled. She couldn't meet Sejanus's gaze anymore. Instead, she opted to look at a spot just past the side of his head.

"Can I just explain?" asked Sejanus.

Ophelia nodded.

"I'm really sorry, if that was too much, or if it made you uncomfortable," he continued. "But Phee, you are probably one of the only consistent people I have in my life right now. We've only been reunited for a few weeks, but I feel like no time has passed since we separated. Ophelia, I think I'm falling in love with you. I'm sorry if that's scary for you, believe me, I'm absolutely terrified. I don't want to lose you in that arena tomorrow. I don't want to have to let go of you ever again."