birthday candles | the inheritance games

part sixteen

Avery took the news better then I expected, and most definitely better then I did.

She has been helping us try and figure out what the hell is going on, or as Xander calls it, solving  the mystery.

Jameson has been gone for a few months now, as he is traveling the world, I have no idea what he is looking for, but I'm almost positive it's something.

That leaves Avery all alone, her and Xander spend most of their time together, but I think having something to do, something to look for, something to solve, will help her.

"What now?" Amelia asks, she is laying down, her head in Bran's lap as he plays with her hair, it's moments like these, moments when I see them doing what me and Scott did, that I really think of him.

If somebody asked me if I am happy now, I don't know what I would say, I love Hawthorne House, it's been great living here, but again I don't see it as the place I will grow old.

I have friends, I love them all too death, but something is missing to make me completely happy.

Someone is missing.

I don't know much right now, but the one thing I can see crystal clear about is Scott. I miss Scott so much.

"I don't know" I reply to her as I sink further into the cushion on the couch.

I have tried, I've tried so hard to figure out what I want to do with my life, but the only thing I could think of is Scott.

It's been almost a year since his death and I still can only think of him.

Libby says it'll get better, that I will be able to move on eventually.

But I just don't see that happening.

We got engaged, he died, he died for me, I was supossed to die.

The only thing I want is to die so I can be with him, and it's something I have continiously thought of, like Romeo and Juliette, they loved eachother, they died to be with eachother.

"I found something" Xander says as he enters the room, which breaks me away from my very disturbing thoughts of death.

He tells us what he found but I cant seem to hear him, it's like the world went on mute.

"Hello? Lia? Lia can you hear me, love" it's Scott speaking, I look around the room trying to find him, but he's not here.

But there is his voice in the room, "Lia love, listen to me, your going to be okay" I shake my head as tears threaten to spill, I am not going to be okay, I'm not okay.

His voice is gone, and I can hear everyone in the room, "you okay there Mal?" Brandon asks, "yeah you kinda went away for a sec" Xander says.

"Yeah, yep, perfect" I say standing up, "I'll see you guys later" I say as I exit the room.

I cant solve this mystery, I never wanted too, but they can, Xander and Avery have done it before, and Bran and Amelia seem excited about it.

I however, have much bigger things to do, I have to plan something.

I have to plan my death.

A/N:
please forgive me for that last line, I am lowkey spiraling on how this book should end, and I have an idea in mind, so my apolagies if its different then expected, have a good week, fyi shes in her rep/folklore era. byeee mwahhh