How to Survive Your 19th Life [BL]

Chapter 20: The First

Emiel greeted me when I returned. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped up from the couch and said, "Where is your coat?" He noticed right away.

I just shrugged, tired from the jog over and locked the door behind me. I dumped myself on the couch and tossed my keys, phone, and wallet on the coffee table. Emiel grabbed the blanket from his bed and placed it on me. He then went to the kitchen to microwave my dinner.

"Did you know Shiva was going to be there?" I asked him.

His hazel eyes met my gaze and his expression told me all I needed to know. I closed my eyes to block out the sight of him.

"Is that why you tried to stop me from going?"

"I only recommended that."

"Still... is that why?"

The microwave beeped. Emiel brought me a hot bowl of tikka marsala and a separate plate of jasmine rice. It smelled like heaven. He sat next to me, close but not touching.

"I figured it wouldn't be pleasant for you." His voice was the softest I'd ever heard it.

"And he didn't go to Yale with Joanna did he?" I looked at him then, my irritation seething. "You lied about that."

Emiel drew his long legs up on the couch and hugged them to his body, resting his chin on his knees. He just looked at me with a doe-eyed expression.

"Why did you lie?"

He sighed. "When I first told you he dropped out, you looked devastated. So I lied."

"Because you didn't want me to be sad? You barely know me."

"Well because... Fuck Shiva. He doesn't get to continue to make you feel bad. You did one shitty thing."

"Yeah, I ruined his life," I said.

"No you didn't, Solomon. You really didn't."

"Well he told me so today. Now he's married and got a kid on the way. And he's stuck in a shitty job."

Emiel laughed. "You know he hit me up tonight to fuck?"

My eyes widened and my eyebrows shot up. I turned fully towards Emiel. "No fucking way."

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket, Emiel pulled up his text messages and showed me his phone. Right there on the screen was a text from Shiva's number.

555-154-5885: Will be on campus tonight for movie club with Jo. Meet up? Need to see you. Meet me at 1045? Usual spot?

That's around when Shiva disappeared to go to the bathroom during the movie.

"Did you meet up with him?" I asked, not looking at him. I inspected my cuticles as if my fingers were suddenly the most interesting things in the world.

"So he actually left the movie with his wife there?"

I nodded.

"Wow, desperate man. But no, I didn't meet up with him."

"How do I know you're telling the truth now?" I continued to pick at my fingers. "You've lied before to spare my feelings."

"Well... How long was he gone for?"

"15 minutes I think?"

Emiel laughed and shook his head. "Our usual spot is the bathroom at the library. If you factor in time for the walk over from the theater and back, not much time for actual fucking. I need at least an hour."

"How many times did you do it with him?" I looked at Emiel finally, though it was hard. My chest burned. A deep seriousness clung to the corners of his mouth. His Adam's apple bobbed.

"A lot."

I nodded. His words stung and I hated that it did.

"Are you jealous, Solomon?" he asked. He moved closer to me, until his knee touched the side of my thigh through the blanket.

"I don't know." It was time for honesty again. Bravery and honesty went hand in hand, which was my new goal this school year. Confident. Brave. Not passive. "I don't want to be, but maybe I am jealous. Just a little."

Emiel's eyes softened. His entire posture seemed to relax. A small smile rose to his deliciously full lips. "Well, as long as we're being honest. Maybe I'm a little, tiny bit jealous of Henri."

And there it was. My heart melted into a puddle at his feet. The clarity of my feelings hit me like a freight train. He felt threatened by Henri all this time and still cooked breakfast and dinner for me, despite any other plans he had.

I was beginning to fall for him and there was nothing I could do to stop myself.