Save Room For Us (18+)

Chapter 14: My Shattering Heart

Chapter 14: My Shattering Heart
Nevaeh

            All I had to do was focus on work and the competition. No more distracting thoughts. Damon not being here as often did help with that. Max and I have been working at it all week, I think we got our first choreography to it being nearly perfect.
I could see in Max's eyes that he was over it, but I couldn't help it. I wanted everything to be perfect. Once I noticed we weren't hitting the beats as nicely, I figured it was time to call it for the evening. We were the last to go. I wanted to get to the local bookstore before they closed. It wasn't that far from the studio, so I didn't mind the trip.
           I tugged my jacket closer to my body with my hands in my pockets as if that will radiate more heat. As I was walking, I felt the hairs of the back of my neck stand and the beating of my heart. I feel that someone is following me. I turned my head and saw a tall person, dressed in all black, with a black face mask. They resembled a shadow. Perhaps, they weren't following me. Maybe I was just overthinking as usual.
           Before getting to the intersection, I took a moment to cross the street from the midway. Most likely, the person will keep moving forward on that side. They won't be crossing.
           I caught a glimpse of the individual crossing as I did from the corner of my eyes. My anxiousness grew as a result. I immediately rushed back to the opposite side of the street and entered the following one.
           As swiftly as I could, I ran. My chest stung from the chilly breeze's collision with it. With each step I made, I could hear the person's footsteps getting louder, creating a sardonic rhythm. I made a different turn.
          As I ran through, I abruptly felt my body revert back and arms up around me. I stepped back, almost tripping. I closed my eyes at that point. I feared opening them to see whose arms these belong to.
A moment passed, before a familiar voice spoke, "Neveah, it's okay. I think they're gone."
        I fluttered my eyes open, looking up to see eyes with the softest brown infused with green. I've been avoiding him so well I completely forgot Damon lived around this area. He lived in the side of the city that was pumped with luxurious apartments.
We were close together in a narrow dark alley. I pulled my body away from him, feeling heat in my cheeks. "Thanks."
         He poked his head out, and returned his gaze to me. I tried my best to avoid them. "Who was that?" he asked.
       "How should I know? Do you think I know anyone here that would chase me like that?"
        "Do you have any idea?"
        "No, I don-" I yelled but quickly swallowed it. "I don't know. Maybe it's just someone just trying to rob me."
          "If they wanted to rob someone, I don't think they would be that persistent to rob just you."
        "I don't know, I'm a young Black woman. There are people who would hurt me just because of that." It's a scary thought that was always in the back of my head. I could never put it to rest. "Why are you pretending to care?" I replied, crossing my arms.
          "You know that I care."
          Her being back here reminds me how much I don't want her. She's just a stain I want to erase. Those words replayed in my head like venom.
         "Whatever," I adjust my bag to my shoulder, "Well, thanks for help. Catch you later," I said.
          As I was about to step away from the alley, Damon held my wrist. "If you think I'm letting you by yourself, you must be out of your mind."
          "I don't need a bodyguard. I'm good."
"This is not an opinion. You're going to get in my car, and I'll take you home. It is not safe. Who knows if that person finds you again."
          As much as I wanted to protest, I knew Damon was right. I didn't want to show him how terrified I was, but I couldn't act like everything was fine.
         "Whatever," I replied.
         We walked to his car, and I sat in the passenger seat. Last time I was in this car, Damon had to drive me home. Here we are again. But this time I wasn't going to let him break the barrier I created. I needed to protect myself from him.
          The drive was quiet. I kept my eyes out the window and he got on the road. I was able to catch him looking at me from time to time from the glass reflection, but I didn't look at him. I was not going to lose my guard again.
         "So," he began.
         Keep your guard up. All defenses activated.
"I remember you used to have your license and drove wherever you went. How come you don't drive to the studio?" he asked.
        Keep your guard up. Don't fall for whatever he does. Just ignore him.
       "Nevaeh?" he called out, turning his gaze to me. His eyes made my skin burn. Luckily, he didn't keep his eyes on me for too long. Otherwise, I thought I would begin to melt.
       The ride that shouldn't have felt as long as it did was finally over. I quickly jumped out of his car the minute he parked. Before I shut his car door, I uttered, "Thanks."
          Not wanting to hear what else he has to say, I quickly went to my house, unlocked the door, and shut it behind me like I was trying to close a book after finishing the last chapter.
         I took a deep breath and took off my shoes. Once I made my way to the living room, I noticed an envelope on top of the coffee table with my name. It was my mother's handwriting.
        I reached for the envelope and tore it open. I pulled out what seemed to be a letter.
Nevaeh,
I will be gone until the holidays are over. I will be traveling with a friend. All the bills are paid already, so don't worry about it. Just focus on your responsibilities.
-Teresa
         Teresa. Not even signing it off with "mom". I tore the letter as much as I could and threw it like it was confetti. Teresa has always been stern with me, but I feel like it has been worse since my dad died. Perhaps, this was her way of grieving or maybe she was finally revealing her true colors.
           I didn't understand all this animosity directed to me lately. I found a job, was doing the competition, pulling my weight around her, and yet nothing. I was still not enough for her. Not enough to spend the holidays with. Not enough to satisfy her.
            I knew I shouldn't care that much, but I couldn't help it. Even though I was in my twenties, my heart was still fragile, and it has been taking a lot of hits lately. At this rate, I thought it might just break--no, my heart has been broken too many times. At this point, my heart was going to shatter.
---
          After a few hours of sulking in my room (more like my rented space), I decided to call Natalie. I let the phone ring a few times. Each ring after that made me feel more uneasy. I was so close to just ending the call, but she answered before I could.
    "Vae?" I heard her voice, loud trying to beat the loud music around her. "What's up?"
         Our mother left me for the holidays. I feel pretty lonely right now. It would only take an infinitesimal amount of heart ache before my heart shatters into pieces. I need you here. Those were all the things I wanted to say to her. But I felt like I shouldn't. Natalie has been trying so hard to be the big star. I feel like I've held her back many times already as we grew up. "Nothing. Just miss you. Wanted to hear your voice. Holidays aren't the same without you," I said shallowly.
"I miss you too! I wish I could be there."
"Me too... but don't worry. Home is always here." Describing this as a home made my stomach turn. Of course, it did feel like a home once. I remember there wasn't any other place I would rather be. But these past years, home has been an unbearable place. But I never talked about it to anyone. "See you whenever," I said, giving a small laugh.
There was a nearly quiet pause. Natalie wasn't making a sound but I could hear some of the background noise. It sounded like she was at an event. Then, finally, the near silence broke. "Whenever," Natalie said, before ending the call.

Hi, author here! I noticed more people were adding this story to their reading lists. Welcome new readers!! I have more of this story to post but was a little discouraged to continue. I will post more in the near future :)