A parallel universe

Chapter Thirty Eight

Liv and El walked into the squad room hand in hand.
"Good night?" Fin smirked.
"Very good night" Liv smiled widely.
"Good to know I wasn't the only one who slept well" Came a voice from behind them.
"Amelia" Liv smiled widely as she crossed the room and pulled the young woman into her arms.
"Hey Liv" She smiled, hugging her back tightly.
"How are you? What are you doing here?"
"There's a parade taking place to celebrate survivors-"
"Oh, I've heard about that"
"I thought that the two of us could go together considering what happened" Even know her heart still stopped at the thought of William Lewis.
"I understand" Liv nodded.
"They're asking survivors to wear white body paint to show what they survived-"
"I don't need body paint to show that" Liv bit.
"What he did-"
"He killed your family because of me, Amelia"
"And I gained you. I get cards on my birthday and in holidays. I still have a mother"
"You could've had so much more than that"
"Just think about it. Please" Liv barely nodded before Amelia turned and headed towards the elevator.
"I think that it would be good for you" El said, breaking through the quiet of the squad room.
"I have just forgotten what his hands feel like. I don't need to see it all again, painted over my body. I won't be his again. I refuse to be his, ever"
"By putting on that paint your not becoming his, your acknowledging how far you've come since"
"I don't know" She admitted with a deep sigh.
"Just think about it" She nodded gently. He tugged her into his side, placing a kiss to the top of her head "I'll see you at home"
"See you at home" She smiled, watching him leave.
"You should do it you know" Fin told her.
"What if I relapse?"
"Then we'll all be here to help you through it" He assured her "You have until tomorrow. Just think about it" He offered a kind smile and Liv returned it.

Liv lay against Elliott bare chest, her mind wandering.
"I think I need to do it"
"Okay then. But I need you to know that this doesn't make you his, not ever"
"I know. I'm just scared"
"It's okay to be scared sometimes"
"I know"
"I'm proud of you Livvie"
"I love you El"
"I love you too"

Liv emerged from her office, slightly shaking. The white body paint covered her mouth and hair and her body. Everywhere El looked there were smudged white hand prints.
"Liv?" Her teary eyes met his.
"I didn't realize just how much they had touched me until now"
"And yet you're still so brave" A voice muttered and Liv's eyes moved around the room until they landed on Brian.
"Bri" Liv crossed the room quickly and pulled him into her arms.
"Elliot told me what was happening today. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Congratulations on the baby too" He smiled as they released each other.
"Sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted"
"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy"
"Me too" She smiled.
"You do it, I do it" He reached for the body paint on the desk beside him but Liv's hand covered his.
"You know what that means?"
"I do. I'm not afraid to admit what he did to me anymore. I don't feel ashamed because of you Liv" She smiled and dropped her hand from his, watching as he grabbed the body paint and dragged it down his black shirt and over his crotch.
"We are survivors"
"We are" He agreed as Liv's eyes landed on Amelia.
"You wore the paint" Amelia smiled.
"I'm a survivor of two attempted rapes, of torture, of assault, of grooming. My life is a sex crime case file. I am a survivor" Amelia nodded.
"I am a survivor. I peeked at an attempted rape" She admitted.
"I told you not to look"
"I was a scared kid" She shrugged.
"I am a survivor of rape" Brian added with a confident smile. Liv slipped her hand into his and returned his smile as she squeezed his hand lightly.
"Let's do this" Liv smiled, dropping Brian's hand as she searched for El's, he took it instantly, squeezing her hand lightly.

Liv and both squads stood in the bar after the parade.
"I used to dream about you" She admitted them all but her eyes were on Elliot's "The sleeping pills brought me back to the old precinct. We just used to talk for what felt like hours. You told me to keep fighting because soon you would be coming for me. You gave me hope when I had none" She admitted. El wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his side.
"You gave yourself hope" He told her before he dropped his lips to hers.
"They always so mushy?" Brian asked.
"Yeah pretty much" Fin chuckled.
"How do you think Emmy got here?" Bruno added with a smile.
"That was a twenty five year old fantasy" El smirked down at Olivia, seeing the blush rise in her cheeks "I have a few more that I wouldn't mind living out" She blushed redder.
"How long have you been thinking about screwing her?" Brian asked.
"Since last night when she agreed to do the parade, made me so proud. Good. So good" He smiled down at Liv, his eyes never going to Brian. Liv slipped her bottom lip between her teeth remembering what it felt like the last time he said that to her.
"Liv?" Fin called her but her eyes stayed glued to Elliot's reading his mind completely.
"We have the sitter till 10" Her hand went to his arm, setting them both on fire.
"Yours or mine?" He smirked.
"Mines more daring" She smirked back.
"We'll be back in twenty" El smirked, guiding Liv to the back of the bar.
"Where are they going?" Brian asked.
"To screw each other's brains out" Fin told him, earning a disgusted look.
"Where?"
"Bathroom" Anaya spoke up.
"And how do you know that?" Fin asked.
"Nearly every man and woman have a fantasy about getting caught. Makes the sex that much hotter"
"And how do you know that?" Fin shot her a look.
"Like you haven't done it" She scoffed before she took a sip of her whiskey.
"They'll be much longer than twenty minutes, you all know that right?" Amanda asked and earned choruses of 'yes' from the group.