What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

Bitter Reality

"Aslan, you bastard!" I couldn't contain my shock at what he was showing me, his nonchalant behavior adding salt to injury.

"Don't overreact, Joell. You're blowing this out of proportion. You need to know I'm just a small part of your life-" I couldn't bear to listen to his dismissive tone any longer. The lump in my throat threatened to choke me, and I leaned against the table behind me for support, desperately trying to hold back tears.

"A small part? That's rich." His words cut through me like broken glass, each one adding to the pain. I couldn't help but cut him off, trying to pretend he didn't mean all that much, that all that we had wasn't as much of a big deal as I made it.

 I didn't want him near me, didn't want to hear any more of his cruel words, but he came closer, stepping on broken glass, each squeaking, being crushed or torn apart just as I am. 

Clutching the edge of the table, I was gasping for tears to stop flooding my red dress, the red shawl long forgotten somewhere. I tried to steady myself as his shadow loomed over me. 

"We've had our discussion. You're nothing but a slut who wormed your way into my life after a good fuck, making mine a living hell." His expression twisted into a cruel smile as if reveling in my pain.

"Aslan, please-"

"Don't call out my name. I'm not the hero in your fairy tale. I know what you're really like. I see the font you put on for your clients, the way you fuck me with your eyes like you're drugged." His hand hovered dangerously close to my throat, the chill of it sending shivers down my spine.

"Even now, I can see right through you. Are you perhaps chanting that it's only a bad dream? This?" I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze, didn't want him to see the turmoil inside me. I wanted comfort, reassurance that this was all just a terrible dream. But his words only cut deeper, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable. Reminding me that this is reality. 

With a final sigh, he withdrew his hand and stepped back, his disdain evident in every line of his body. I struggled to catch my breath, still unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't love you." His words were like a dagger to my heart, each one driving home the pain of his betrayal.

"You've been my worst nightmare, a haunting presence I can't escape. I've endured plenty of horrors in my life, but you... you're the one I regret the most." His voice was sharp, cutting through the last shreds of hope I clung to.

"Enough. I don't want to hear any more." I wanted to scream, to run away from him and never look back. But I was frozen in place, my body trembling with a mixture of fear and anger. I felt drained, as if every ounce of energy had been sapped from me. 

He just stood there, looking down at me with contempt. I could feel the weight of his words crushing me. But despite the pain, I refused to let him see me reacting heavily on his words. I didn't want to make myself fall in deeper pain and desperation. 

"I won't stand here and listen to your lies anymore," I managed to choke out, my voice trembling but firm. "You may think you were scaring me, taking something precious from me but you're wrong."

With that, I pushed myself away from the table and took a step back, finally meeting his gaze with defiance. Through my fake tone and braveness, I didn't let it slip. "I may have been your nightmare, but you... you're nothing but a coward hiding behind your hurtful words."

He recoiled slightly, taken aback by my sudden show of strength. But I refuse to stay still and accept everything thrown at me, refusing to let him see me as anything less than resilient.

"You're not the only one playing along to get a better chance of winning a good plot." I continued, my voice acting stronger with each word, with each force. " Still, I deserve better than this. You don't get to freely word me down and go back home to sleep comfortably."

I didn't want to leave but I also didn't want to let the force to slip so, I turned on my heel and walked away, leaving him standing there. His expression had faltered for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his face. But it was quickly replaced by a cold mask of indifference.

Each step weighed heavier than the last, a tempest of tears threatening to spill over. I struggled to contain the turmoil raging within me. I couldn't bear to face him, to hear the echoes of shattered glass or the crushing weight of his heartless words. I felt drenched and shattered, my heart aching with the weight of betrayal.

I had stayed by his side out of love, genuine and hope. I had opened my heart to him, embracing his son as my own. El had brought light into my life, filling me with a sense of purpose and belonging. I had cherished every moment with him, feeling a bond so strong it was as if he were my own flesh and blood.

But now, faced with the reality of his father's cruelty, I felt lost and broken. I couldn't bear to be near him, to stand in the shadow of the man who I still can't force not to love. The thought of being close to him now, however, filled me with a sense of dread and despair.

As I descended the stairs, each step a struggle against the weight of my emotions, I felt myself teetering on the edge of collapse. I clung to the railing for support, desperate to hold on to whatever shred of strength remained within me. But the ground beneath me felt unstable, threatening to give way beneath the weight of my grief.

I tried to hold back the flood of tears threatening to overwhelm me, to keep myself from sinking deeper into despair. But with each passing moment, I felt myself slipping further and further away from the surface, lost in a sea of heartache and uncertainty.

Unable to hold on any longer, I collapsed onto the stairs, the weight of my emotions too much to bear. Tears streamed down my cheeks, mingling with the salty sweat of exertion. I felt utterly defeated, my heart shattered into a million pieces.

As I sat there, hunched over and sobbing, I knew I couldn't stay there forever. I needed to get away, to escape the suffocating confines of that place.

With trembling fingers, I fumbled for my phone, my vision blurred by tears making it difficult to see the screen. But eventually, I managed to dial the familiar number, my voice choked with emotion.

"Ginni," I choked out between sobs. "I need you to come pick me up. I'll send you the location..."

I could hear the concern in her voice as she assured me that she would be there soon, her words a lifeline in the midst of my despair. And as I hung up the phone, I just held onto whatever hope I had left and walked further down the stairs.

Minutes felt like hours as I waited for her arrival through the ache of each step, my tears unabated. But finally, I heard the sound of her steps sprinting faster than I can count, running up the stairs before I could find her, and a wave of relief washed over me as I realized that I was no longer alone.