What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

It's Fine...All Fine

Nahhh, I was being dramatic. Slender legs did come back, after a month. He had befriended someone at the café and I stalked on their conversation. Apparently, things at the company had been busy for the month and now he was kicked out to try a different order. 

Despite being a business owner myself, that conversation did not peek my interest one bit and I walked out. I had gotten used to seeing slender legs visit the café now and then and got unfocused when he didn't for a month, but now I'm used to it again so I'm not all that focused on him. 

But just then, he opens his mouth and mentions a name I'm all too familiar with. Everyone must be staring at me weirdly, especially the person who I'm gawking at. While he tried his very best not to give me the meanest, dirtiest facial expression in the Homosapien's life to existence, I couldn't move a single muscle and stared stupidly more.

The cashier elbowed me in the sides, paining me greatly that I was left focusing on that only. Murmurs aired around Oxygen until everyone went back to minding their own business. 

It dawned on me the existence of that kid and baby daddy, even for just a teeny tiny bit. Neurons in my brain had gone down short-term memory loss until it fucking race car-ed back out, what the hell? Now I'm remembering them both!

  Finishing an order that just came in, getting out of overthinking so much, I looked up to see slender legs just outside the door. I ran outside too, only to bump into a few passersby, apologizing, and held him back by the shoulder from the back and ached my back as I tried to catch my breath. Holy shit, now that I'm thinking clearly for a bit, I look like a cat about to throw up pits of hair.

The man was frozen and I'm shaking from being on my tippy toes, mother-fucking-slender-legs are long as fuck, for sure, what the hell? 

"May I help you?" I back off. When I saw his face, then I really wanted to throw up cat hair or shit. This dude is almost shaking, holy shit. Is he allergic to human touch?

"Damn, I didn't mean to give you an allergy reaction, do you have something that can calm the situation down?" I asked, looking both sides of his hips as if shit will magically appear.

He just looked at me, in disbelief? But hey, he stopped shaking. 

"It's not my fault I happen to have perfectly functioning ears and, by no magic at all, heard the conversation you were having with Alva," the sun is fucking hot, isn't it Fall?

"At some point, I heard you spill out a familiar name," I started to describe his possible height, looks and what he could've worn on what day, which was very very difficult to remember, with the name..."El?"

When I was describing the person, with the name slender legs just announced I wasn't looking at him because I was thinking so hard, trying to remember that kid, what he looked like. When I had raised my head, in excitement, I was viewed with his ear pressed on a screen phone, looking somewhere else, seeming to not have paid me any mind.

He was so focused, drinking his now warm coffee, closing his eyes as the wind passed by.

It felt like he was there but also wasn't. In reality it felt like I wasn't there, when I was standing still with my arms folded trying to warm my bare arms. I was called back inside for business after a while and I just left. When I turned around, slender legs had also walked the opposite way, singing some sort of lullaby to the phone.

I went back to the cashier and the day passed by as usual, my head blank as fuck but muscle memory saved the day. No trouble, at least. 

I open the door to my apartment tiredly before kicking my platform boot heels and undressing naked, readying to hop into the shower. My brain, shut off, stares into nothing but whiteness, hands moving to do all the work, eyes closing when touched by the raining shower. 

When I was done drying and dressing I went to Ginni's room to hug her sloppily with a kiss to the head and dragged myself into my room, went under the covers and slept just like that; still staring into nothing but white when I look from inside my brain, from behind eyelids.

At 4 am, I woke up with rage, still in bed, humph-ed, folding my arms, squeezing my boobs into suffoication.

"He fucking ignored me!!" Just when I had finally found a step closer to baby daddy...At this point I don't even want him, I want baby El.

I threw my face into my pillow and screamed all my rage in, falling asleep once more to wake up with puffy eyes and a sore throat.

I took a lemon cough drop, packed a sandwich incase I'll be too lazy to make anything and went to work on a windy day, sandwich long gone with the wind, no hair tie or clip to buckle away the hair that won't stop waving in my face.

I made it to work with my then perfectly worn clothes inside out, my brain a fog of doodle of kids' drawings, throat dry and the guest room taken. Could this be any worse?!

I' literally holding off by a thread so damn small and light I thought I was already falling off the cliff for the lava to eat me whole. I was just about to fall dramatically in the middle of the room due to the way my knees have been shaking almost like crazy at this point. 

I had to remember that I'm back in my business, there are people at the café who are minding their own businesses; here for peace and quiet so I had to hold in my rage and urge to just bawl.  

I inhaled when behind me the bell for the door rang, indicating that a customer came and before I even look up I feel someone, short in height, bump into me. 

I look downwards, so drained I my body is moving to fall face-flat onto the cold surface when I realized someone had bumped into me; short in height happen to be falling with me too! However humanly possible, I span around so my back hits the floor instead. I groan louder when the kid fell onto my chest.

What's with this awful day?...

I looked up to see a kid staring at me, his hands just pressed into my stomach and his face hard to read for a kid. He was nodding in an apologetic way, when it clicked in my head! I yelled without meaning to, clasping both arms of the boy.

"El?!"