What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

A Long Night

The door clicks open in the middle of the night. Ginni walked into the house, as bright as a cave that sat inside the shine of shiny stones, shining with the help of the moon from a distant direction. 

Ginni walks by the dining table blindly, rubbing her eyes as the quiet house welcomes her with every step she takes. With a sigh, she throws her back onto the back of the long couch. 

"Ouch." 

"Oh dear god!" Ginni jumps, looking startled at the couch, where the noise comes from, and I just sat there, in a meditation pose with my feet just palming each other, a bucket of ice cream being fed into my mouth with a soup spoon. 

"Joell, what the fuck!" Ginni leans against the back of the chair that's tucked under the dining table, slipping deeper under the table due to the pressure. "I thought you went to sleep early." 

"I did." I shoved the giant spoon deep into the container and ate out of it, along with the wet droplets from my eyes, adding more salt to it. "This extra salt doesn't taste good," I mumble a sniff, mouth spoonful. 

"What happened?" Ginni just sat on the cold floor.

"Jo? Are you crying?" I sob into my ice cream, cleaning my face with the back of my hand despite hating the sanitation, but I couldn't stop hearing his words. 

"You just saved me..."

I cried into the bucket, just bawling with my heartache. "Oh, Jo.." Ginni stands up behind me, her hand on my head. "Now I can't eat the ice cream." 

"H..He was on the phone.." Ginni put a tissue, which I had no idea where it came from, pressed onto my nose and had me push the guts out of it before wiping my tears with the snot. With the cleaner side. I still felt my sticky snot on my nose and hated that sanitation as well. 

I pushed Ginni's hand off my face and stabbed my ice cream, soup spoon in the bucket, and bash it into her face. She had the audacity to grab it instead of pushing it away so I took it back and ate outta my bucket again. 

Sniff. "I'll be fine.." I stared daze into my container and sighed. Ginni patted the pounds of a hammer into my back before going around and sitting next to me. 

"Think you could sleep?" She sits with her legs buckled and leaned against the armrest of the couch. "Yes. I will stay awake staring at the ceiling, debating if I should kidnap Esden and file a police report that my child was taken away from me." 

We just sit in silence. 

"Good night." Ginni pats me in the back once more, making the pain ache worsley, before going to do her night routine because even I know she has an early work. 

I sat on the couch, place my ice cream container on the table and walked under my duvet. I rolled all the way to where he slept before remembering what he said on a call. 

"Motherfucker has a side chick..." I muffle into the pillow he slept his head on. As if this isn't that incident all over again; Sov. 

"I'm the side chick.."  I heep the feathers out of the inside of the pillow, crying like he's my love interest in a book who'll turn around and I'll live happily ever after with. 

I sit up straight, back straight as fuck, throwing my head back, "I'm the only one who could calm down baby Esden," with my sticky face I said what I said. 

In a sudden mood shift, my back crooked. "There are 8 billion peoples on Earth, anyone could soothe that cute child..." 

I went back under the blanket and pretended like everything was fine. The man isn't even thinking about me, why am I so worked up over a one-night stander?

I see him by chance at the mall once more, played him and now I took care of his son. I end up loving his son, he's so cute and silly. Then I went ahead, unconsciously getting nervous around the man...Oh the way his body, squeezed with the smell of my white shirt- 

In a split of daydream, I remember him talking about going on a date, as if I were the background noise. I ask him about it and he ignores me. 

Fuck him. 

I pull the covers over my head and sleep on his spot...I couldn't sleep. 

My eyes stayed bloodshot until I was able to shut them for three hours, only to be woken up in a startle. 

I could feel how dry and red my eyes were. I had them close, looking around and out the window with my eyes qrenced like I've never seen the sun before. 

By the time I got up and could barely stare alive, I went to take a long shower: just staying under the hot rain of water, allowing myself to be boiled. 

Having been done, I looked in the mirror, and I do not look like something that'll be served even if I were the last snack or liquid. 

I rubbed the redness out of my face. Did I cry? 

I shrug at my own question and splash cold water on my face, letting my hair dry first that way my body also dries before I dress. 

What psychopaths wear clothes when they're still wet?

I dragged myself into the living room and see a plate covered with a bowl, and a note that looks like it's been ripped off in a hurry. I look around and heard nothing. Ginni's off to work. I nod to myself.

I take off the bowl on the plate to see a fried sunny side up egg and sausages with cut cucumber and strawberries. I went to the kitchen for a cup of water, ate my breakfast and went to wash the dishes. 

I dried my hand, fixed myself and walked out of the door for what busy day will come. 

I thought about everything I did and had not forgotten, including putting the ripped note in the kitchen cabinet where all the notes written gets secured in. I made sure to stand by what the note said, 

Work hard.

And I shall, with a good attitude for all employees and customers. 

The door clicks shut.