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Forty-Three

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March 6th, Thursday 2024
Beyoncé Knowles
9:00 am

I'm curled into a ball, gripping the comforter. My family is out for breakfast and I'm at the house, crying. I can't believe this is happening to me. I sigh softly then I slowly get out of bed. I walk out of the room and I walk past a mirror, I slowly back up and I look into the mirror. My eyes are red and puffy and my nose is red while my skin is flushed.

"Fuck, I look a mess." I whisper as I wipe away my tears

As I exit the bedroom I feel my feet touch the cold marble floor and all I can think about is when I was a child. Around Christmas time the floors of our house would be freezing, Solange and I would run down the hall to wake our parents up. Daddy would pick both of us up and carry us downstairs to the living room so we could open our gifts.

Daddy got me my first karaoke set for Christmas and I swear to god I would sing all day long, and he would listen to every song I sung. He told me I had a gift and he wanted me to showcase that gift so he put me in dance lessons.

After I got famous he wanted to be our manager because he "didn't trust anyone with his babygirl" I know he was shitty at times but he loved me so fucking much and he wanted what was best for me at that time.

I snap out of my thoughts and I realize I'm standing at the middle part of the stairs. I sigh softly then I walk downstairs and I go into the kitchen. Once I open the fridge I see some sort of Tupperware with a note on it.

I take the box out of the fridge then I place it on the counter before taking the note off of it to read it.

"Feed yourself baby it's your favorite :) -Meg"

I smile softly before sticking the note to the fridge. My wife is so sweet, and attentive with me even when she's not here. I open up the box then I place the top on the counter. I look inside and I notice it's my favorite, a hash brown omelette and a banana nut muffin.

I stand on my tippy toes and I open the microwave before putting the box inside then I put it on two minutes. If there wasn't food in here I probably wouldn't have eaten at all, I literally didn't leave the house yesterday so I've been inside for basically two days. I didn't eat yesterday so this'll be my first time eating.

I feel so nauseous whenever I even think about my father, and I feel myself getting back into that headspace so I'm trying my hardest not to think about him.

It was Megan's idea for us to buy a house in Japan, because she really loves to be here so of course we did it. I'm glad we did because I can't imagine sleeping in a hotel right now. I stand on my tippy toes and I go into the cabinet where the alcohol is located. It's only 9:15 am but I don't give a fuck.

I grab the Dussé then I grab a glass before putting both of them on the counter. I pour the Dussé into the glass until the alcohol reaches the top. I pick up the glass then I drink the whole thing so quickly, but I feel nothing.

I pour another drink as I wait for my food to stop. Once I finish pouring the drink I hear the microwave beep. I place the bottle down then I open the microwave and I take my food out before placing it next to my drink.