Trinity & Loki - A Love Affair

The "Intimacy" Thing

Trinity and Loki was sitting at her place, snuggling on the couch. They had just got done watching a movie and Trinity got up to change it to another one.
She got off the couch, grabbed a DVD and stuck in back in. She went to grab their glasses off the coffee table.
"Hey, come back here beautiful" Loki said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her on his lap.
Trinity giggled. "These glasses aren't gonna fill themselves handsome"
"They can wait..." He said as he started kissing her.
She wrapped her arms around him as she smiled against his lips. She started kissing him passionately.
He pulled her closer as he started kissing her neck and down to her shoulder.
She closed her eyes, arched her neck some and moaned a little.
He went to reach his hand up the back of her shirt. He growled in her ear "I want you so bad" and he started to bring her shirt up.
She suddenly froze and gripped his shoulder tight.
"Not tonight babe" She tried to say calmly.
"But you look so yummy" He said with a slight smirk.
Trinity's PTSD kicked in...and she pushed his hand down and and got off him.
"I said not tonight!" She said with a bite.
Loki looked at her, wide eyed and mixed feelings of confusion and a little bit anger.
She grabbed the glasses off the table and went to the kitchen to fill them up.
She started putting ice into the glasses as Loki walked in. She instantly tensed up.
He noticed but didn't acknowledge it. He just grabbed his glass and went to fill it up with water. He took a sip and turned around to lean back on the counter. He just watched her as she mindlessly fidgeted with the ice tray.
"So what was that in there?" He said flustered as he folded his arms across his chest.
Trinny put the ice tray back in freezer and turned to face him.
"What was what? I said not tonight and you pressed so I said it again. Not that hard to understand."
Loki just sighed and stood there watching her with narrow eyes.
She looked at him, then at her glass. She started fidgeted with it, making the ice cubes clink around.
"Wh..." She sighed and swallowed. "I...sorry...I'm just gonna go to bed."
She sat her glass down and turned around to walk away.
"Don't walk away!!" He yelled. She instantly froze and tensed up.
Honestly, he said it more fiercely than he meant but he wasn't thinking at the moment.
"You always do this...always have a moment...get mad at me then go off. I am not going to push this under the rug."
"Because I don't even know how to talk about this..."
"How many times do I have to tell you? I am not him ..damn it Trinny!." He pushed off the counter and now stood behind her.
She whipped around and pushed him in the chest. "That is not even the issue...I never once compared you to him so stop fucking saying that...i have the right to tell you no without you getting all worked up"
"You won't even talk to me...you don't even want me..."
"You son of a bitch!" She said as she slapped him.
She turned and walked to the bedroom. She sat on the bed curled up in some ball. This was the point she couldn't hold it in anymore. She let it all out.

Loki sat down at the kitchen table defeated. He said what he did out of hurt and anger and now he ruined the whole night.
He had his head in his hands thinking. "What am I going to say?"
He sighed as he got up and walked to the bedroom.
He gently knocked and opened the door.
He saw her lying on the bed, and heard her sniffling. His heart broke right there. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings or make her this upset.
"Trin, please can we talk?"
Trinity just shrugged her shoulders and continued laying there facing away from him.
"Please hun. I am so very sorry. I know you want me..want this. I was just being an ass." He sat down next to her and gently placed his hand on her arm.
"Please face me and talk to me?"
"I...I don't know where to begin." She softly said.
"Well, first thing is I am sorry for yelling and making you feel like this. I had no right to do that."
"But you weren't wrong. I always walk away. I expect you to pick up my pieces. That isn't right. I should do it. I shouldn't place all my baggage on you."
"No no ...that's is what I am here for. Since day 1, when you started opening up...I have been that one person you can always count on...good or bad...please never stop ...I don't care how many pieces I gotta pick up...I am here to help you heal"
She sat up on the bed and crossed her legs. "I..I do want you...more than you know...but I..."
She starts messing with the end of her pants.
He places his hand on hers. "You what?" He looks at her with love and worry in his eyes.
She sighed real big and started at one point.
"John really messed up me for the whole intimacy thing. I hate it. My body. He always made me cover up whenever we did have...sex." saying stuff like that about John always made her cringe now.
"He...he had this suit thing..." She starts shaking.
He came closer to her and put his other free hand on her knee. "I am listening. Nothing you tell me will make me see you any differently."
"I am just embarrassed...he...he made me wear this suit thing that made him want me...I tried with anything else and he wouldn't even as so much look at me."
"Well, I can tell you right now. I always want you...regardless of what you have on. Hell, you can have a bag on and you be the most beautiful thing I've seen"
She looks up and smiles and playfully pushes him.
"There is my smile!" He said as be smiled back at her.
"He said I was to much..that no normal person would want sex or anything this much. Hell, I could walk around naked and he would tell me to go cover up and stop guilting him into doing it. And I would do is try to show him affection or kiss him. Never once made him feel bad for not wanting it."
"Then there is definitely something wrong with him. Because I can barely keep my hands off you...clothes or otherwise. You definitely are NOT to much!"
Trinity sighed as she furrowed her brow.
"What? What is it?"
"I...I don't want you to think I don't want you. Or want to be with you...in...in that manner..because I do. A lot. I...I just need baby steps. I hate my body. I hate putting myself out there and not getting anything back. I've learned to push a lot of what I want and my sex drive down...and I'm scared to let it back out..because what if I am to much?" She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "What if you don't like what you see..because...I..I.." She started bawling.
He instantly grabbed her and held her close.
"That would never happen. No matter what. I want you. I will be happy and patient with whatever you are willing to give to me. I will let you do it at your own pace and if I ever cross that line again...feel free to slap me again" He kinda laughed at the last part.
Trinity also laughed and gripped him super tight. "I am sorry for that...in the heat of the arugment...that seemed to best thing to do"
"No I deserved it. You've never compared me to him so what I said was unnecessaryly mean and unneeded. I am sorry."
She just raised up and kissed him softly on the lips. "What did I do to deserve you? Of all those at the cafe and women you could have...why me?"
"Because you saw me for more than a one night stand and my lines and smiles had no effect on you..or if they did. You didn't let it show. You kept being that independent firestorm that I love"
They both smiled at each other and then he took her hands in his.
"So it's settled? Baby steps in this. I will.be ready for whatever you want to show me or do. There is no pressure so move at your own pace and I'll be here to help, not help, pick up pieces, or just love that perfect body. Which is what you are..to me. Perfect. I will always want this. Always want you. So please remember that."
She squeezed his hands tight and hugged his neck. "Thank you so much. I will try..for you. For us. "
"Good." He smiled at her. "Come on? Lets go finish our movie night....I could really use some cuddles."
"Hehe alright...I think I can do that"
They went back into the living room. Loki laid down on the couch and scooted over. She laid down in front of him as he wrapped his arms around her.
They sat like that most of the night as they watched movies and even talked some. Loki would tell her stories of when him and Thor was growing up, like how he like to trick him and stuff.