𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 || Kazu x Scara

Chapter XIV

~*~

"You came." The corners of her lips slightly curled upwards.

Kazuha only nodded in response. She didn't expect much of an answer from Kazuha. Tomo's death had affected him too much so she didn't try to push him to talk. She grabbed his hand and led him to where Tomo had been buried.

Seeing his name on a gravestone made Kazuha's heart ache. Never would he have imagined that the day would come when he would have to place flowers on Tomo's grave. He kneeled and placed the beautiful bouquet along with the soda. He was at the gravestone for a long time before Tomo's mom said, "I'll leave you two alone." She patted Kazuha's shoulder before walking off.

Finally, Kazuha felt as if he could finally breathe. His feelings hit him like crashing waves and he immediately began to tear up. He kept repeating in his head, 'This is so unfair.' Kazuha believed that Tomo had been dealt the wrong fate—a fate unbecoming for him. Tomo had big dreams and aspirations. He was very ambitious and hardworking. A social butterfly among his peers and a mood lifter. On the contrary, Kazuha had completely given up on his life before it even started. He had no hopes, no plans for the future, and no desires.

Kazuha wiped his tears with his sleeve. "I think out of the both of us, the wrong one died. It should have been me."

Kazuha reached into his pocket for the crinkly letter from yesterday. He ripped it open and began to read it.

"Hi, Kazuha! If you're reading this, it means it's too late for me. I'm sorry I had to go and leave you alone. Still, I think you'll do fine without me. You may not realize it, Kazuha, but you have a lot of talent and potential. When you become immersed in something you love, you try your hardest not to let go of it. I've seen you do this many times. It happened with your piano. You were so close to quitting and leaving it all behind, but I think deep down you realized that giving up wasn't what you truly wanted. You just wished you could play under different circumstances. It also happened to me. For a while now, I've believed that my time would be up soon. No matter how hard the doctors tried and how hard you and my mom believed in me recovering from this illness, I still believed I would succumb to it. Though, you never gave up hope in believing I could recover. You might not believe me but I could genuinely feel how much you loved me. You cared about me and made sure I was okay and happy. You always spent time with me and you always went along with what I wanted to do or with what I liked. You never complained if it meant you could be with me. I truly appreciate the love and effort you put into our friendship. What hurt me the most was knowing that I had already come to terms with my death while you still held on to lingering hope that I could live. You didn't want to give up on me and my future. I'm sorry that I foolishly let you believe that. I should've told you from the beginning that there was no hope to begin with. My biggest regret is not making the most of my time left. I wish I could've done things differently. I wish we could've properly talked about our feelings for each other and maybe even become boyfriends. The most important thing I regret is hesitating to tell you "I love you." That night, I guess I got scared and backed down from saying it. I was scared because I felt like I was lying to you. I let you blindly believe I could live when I knew that I had no chance. You're smart, though. I know you caught on to what I was trying to say. We both know that that "I love you" was different from the rest we've told each other before. It contained my romantic feelings towards you. I regret not telling you. I wish I never choked up. As much as I wish I could say it in person, I can't. Hopefully, this letter will suffice, right? I love you, Kazuha. I always have and always will. Please continue to chase after your dreams and don't get hung up on me. I'm glad that I was able to show up in your life for a fleeting moment.