NovaHD Booklet

New Feelings

Story song: James - Camera Obscura (Lmao I'm so witty. Also, peep my plumeria in that collage.) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku2epT_e-F0

Word Count: 925

James' P.O.V

"Aleksandr? Could we possibly talk in private when you get a chance?" He looked to me, assessing my face before responding, 

"Can't it wait until home?"

"I don't think I'll have the guts to say what I want to say at home." I said with a chuckle, very much meaning it.

He nodded his head after a moment of hesitation, clicking out of a couple things before getting up, stowing his hands in his pockets.

He followed me as I lead him into the hot seat room, knowing that these walls were soundproof enough.

"I was just wondering why you only talk to me when the cameras are on is all." I said, my voice harsh and my eyebrows raising up. His feet shifted, his head bowed to the ground. 

"I don't think that's true."

"No, it is. I know it is because I've been trying to figure out why for the past month or so. I'm sick of it. You're my best friend, Aleksandr, you can tell me if I fucked up or something. Just talk to me." His eyes met mine, and he seemed to be trying to get a read on me for a long time. I let him, knowing that Aleks was the type to really assess situations or actions or words before he did anything.

He suddenly lurched forward, his hands leaving his pockets, one at the base of my neck and one against my chest as he pressed his lips against mine.

I was too shocked to kiss him back, and too confused at how much I was enjoying this. He pulled away, his warm breath still fanning over my mouth, nose slightly bumping mine as he looked into my eyes.

"Don't tell anyone, please." He said in a low tone, his voice sounding thick with tears despite the dryness of his hazel eyes. Goosebumps rose on my arms and I nodded my head quickly.

"I won't." I promised, voice just as low as he pulled away. He seemed embarrassed.

"Aleks, it's really no big deal." I said, arm reaching out to squeeze his shoulder comfortingly. He flinched at the action, glancing at my hand, and I removed it to avoid jarring him further. He glared at me, and I was taken by surprise given the gentleness of the kiss.

"It is, James. You may not understand, but this not talking to you has been months and months of buildup, of confusion, of doubt and distress and nobody to help me out because my closest friend was the one I was in love with." With the mention of the L word, I took half a step back.

"Love? You love me?" I said, my voice soft. Despite Aleks' angry, hard expression, his face turned red. 

"Yes, love. You think I'd be this upset over a stupid friend crush or some shit?"

I know that a lot of people have loved me in this lifetime. I know that the guys love me, my family does, the fans all do, every girlfriend I've had has eventually said this word to me, but it sounded so different hearing Aleks say it. And not different in the, "Wow this is my best friend saying this to me, how weird." But in the way that had my heart pumping extra hard, my palms all sweaty, and I found myself thinking about kissing his pillowy pink lips and saying it back to him.

"Aleks, thank you for telling me this. I really appreciate it, and I want you to know that no matter what happens, this can be as discreet as you need it to be. And we'll always be best friends." Thinking these were my last words, his expression sank.

"And one more thing." I said hesitantly. His head shot back up, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

I stepped closer to him, close enough that I could reach out and touch him.

And I did exactly that, the palm of my hand laying flat against his cheek, my thumb running gently against his cheekbone. The action seemed to smooth the worry lines from his forehead, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned into my touch.

My other hand ghosted over his lower back, eventually resting there. My palms were sticky with sweat as if this was my first kiss, but Aleks didn't seem to mind.

I tilted his chin up, pressing so close to him that I felt his heart beat faintly vibrate through me. 

I leaned in closer, eyes still open, for I wanted to see the slope of his nose close up, the way his beautiful lips pursed in wait. His eyebrows cast shadows over his closed eyes, showcasing his downy eyelashes.

I gently touched my lips to his, only deepening the kiss once I heard him sigh in relief and return the affection.We melted into each other and a realization dawned on me that nothing has ever felt so perfect, so right, and it seems like every part of my body was made just so it could fit against Aleks'. 

When we pulled away, I was so far gone that I had to take a shaky breath to regain my composure before I slowly started peeling my eyes open. I saw that Aleksandr has his open as well. They were so stunning that the breath was taken from me again, like I was punched in the gut. 

"And not to get your hopes up or anything, but I think it's safe to say I have some stuff to work out myself." I said, and we both laughed hard.