(TW : Eating disorders,calories,weight. This is a topic that is very personal to me. I wrote it for anyone who has ever struggled with body image,EDs,self worth. Please remember you are loved and not defined by your body. You get one chance at life,don't waist it worrying about your body image,waist your life doing what you want :))
I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
Never
I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
Sometimes
I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
Often
I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
Always
Out of those generalised options,
I hate what I see
Always
I hate the fact I have a stomach,
that reveals itself
when I'm leggings
when I'm in joggers
when I'm in trousers
I hate the fact that I'm fat
I hate the fact that I'm not fat
I'm not skinny but I'm not fat
What am I?
We live in a society where
we are bound by one spectrum:
size
I'm not big
I'm not small
I'm in the middle
I feel like I've been all three sizes
I feel like i don't have a right
to hate what I see
I feel like nobody wants me
I have to be smaller to fit in
But if I say that, I stand out
If I want to be bigger
It's like I'm wishing
torture upon myself
Like a masochist
I cannot choose what I am
It is decided
It is decided by my mind
My mind that
Screams
Stop eating
Starve
Count your calories
Just one more sweet
Just one more cheat day
Just one more day without food
Then we'll stop
Then you will have what you want
Will I forever be defined
by my mind?
Will I forever punish myself
for eating above 1000 calories
a day?
Will forever punish my body
until I am satisfied with it?
I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
Always
YOU ARE READING
The Me Inside Of Me
PoetryPoetry written about personal experiences, relationships and more. I write whenever I can and have motivation some of my writing is not always good but I try anyway. Thankyou :))
