The Me Inside Of Me

The Fire You Caused

Anger
Anger doesn't leave
It lingers
I'm starting to realise that
I'm always angry
I don't know how I can douse
the rage within me

I'm angry because
you got away with it
I'm angry because
all the teachers sided with you
I'm angry because no one
Cared

I was obviously
Just being dramatic
I was obviously being inconsiderate
to your feelings
you were hurt
"He's very upset"
You clearly had every right to be
"He feels very bad"

You can break me
You can douse
the flame inside me
You can crush my spirit
You can warp my mind
And you can get away with it

but it's fine because you felt bad
I didn't feel safe around you
but it's fine because you
just overstepped a few boundaries

You made me feel
Weak
Small
Broken
Destroyed
Hurt
Lost
But it's all okay
It's all fine

The breakdown that i had
And the sick feeling that
Crept on me whenever you came close
Ceased to exist
Because you said sorry
You made one apology
Tried to explain yourself
I didn't accept it
You knew I didn't

But it was fine
Because you moved on
Because you got out
With no judgement
Or harsh words

It's fine because you got out
It's fine because you don't
have to pretend that
you care anymore
It's fine because
i don't have to be your
"problem" anymore

You said you loved me
When did that "love"
Turn into hate?

I suppose I should just
Lay the issue to rest
And just move on
In the same
Fucked up way that you have
But I cannot stay silent
I cannot stand to see you live your life
Knowing that you have dug a shallow grave
And thrown me in it

I just want to scream at you
To shake my fists
Cry
Rage
Tear something
To tell you the truth
To make you see I don't want to forgive you
To make you see that I need you to stop trying

I am asking for your mind to be barren
From the thought of me
I want you to be silent
While I scream

If I let the fire spread
Maybe I'll feel better
Maybe the rage burning inside me
Will finally sleep