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𝐑𝐚𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.
For two weeks straight. And he did not know why.
liar
In the two weeks since he had woken from the 'coma', she had not come by once (for him).
The others avoided mentioning her despite his many attempts to trick them into letting details slip, acting as though even saying her name would land him in their makeshift ICU for another week.
Rae was pulling away from Barry. He could feel it.
Since their... moment, she'd become elusive, keeping her distance as if afraid of getting too close again.
All of their progress, down the drain.
Again.
As he made progress in his recovery, she retreated further, relegating herself to remote work for STAR Labs and only sporadically engaging with Wells. Barry couldn't shake the feeling of unease, especially when he noticed their frequent conversations.
With Wells, you never know what he's truly up to. Who knows what type of lies he's feeding her?
'Sure, the daughter-kidnapping story was a convincing cover, but why did Wells need to talk to Rae specifically?'Barry thought.
Anyways.
He could feel her drifting, always prepared to fly away. Rae was avoiding him; that much was clear. He couldn't hold her, couldn't keep her close (not that he could do much of that). He knew something had changed between them, and he suspected she was angry with him. He was too forward. He didn't ask for consent. He wasn't a good kisser. (he was)
Barry watched her from a distance, observed her like he always did, from his bed.
She was engrossed in her notebook, likely brainstorming solutions for lab repairs.
As usual, she teased Caitlin mercilessly, and Caitlin let her get away with it with massive sighs and affectionate shoves.
Rae and Cisco were as they always were; they leaned into each other's insight and one another, probably bonding over their power of sight.
And Harry and Rae were... bonding. (more like plotting)
The difference lay somewhere only between Rae and Barry.
Guilt.
I'm sorry.
For the speedster right now, these would be the easiest words to speak into existence... as long as he knew what he was apologizing for. He knew she felt something. Why is she pulling away? How could he confess that he has loved her from the start?
Oh.
Still, there was a constant urge to utter this expression, spurred on by this overwhelming sense of guilt, though he knew not what for. For being the reason she had a scar from the parade accident? For repeatedly endangering her life in their battles? Or perhaps for disregarding her warnings about Zoom and Linda? For something even further back? Barry and Rae could never be irritated - much less angry - at each other for long. (he tells himself.)
