Murder Drones: DEATH BATTLE

EP 1: U vs Minus

(Notes: Contains spoilers for both Core-Tamination Reloaded and Mother J. This fight was written mostly before Chapter 22 of Mother J and The Returnees Part Four was released. I will not change the result. )

Uzi: Leaders. Commanders of groups, no matter how big or small, dedicated to the achievement of goals. They take the burden of decisions, and make sure the group is on the right path.

Doll: But some leaders are more willing than others. More willing to resort to dark methods, corrupting intentions and beliefs, sacrificing lives in the name of their goal...this episode, we have two extreme examples of this type of leader.

Uzi: Minus, The Dread Drone brought to you by EarthQuake CU.

Doll: And The Supreme Commander of the Worker Drone Union, U.

Uzi: She's Doll and I'm Uzi!

Doll: And today, we'll be analyzing their armor, weapons and skill to discover who would win...a Death Battle.

SERIAL DESIGNATION U

Uzi: Wait, wait, so who is U?

Doll: Well, you. But a dictator.

Uzi: No, no, I know she's named U. I just wanna know who U is.

Doll: You. U is you.

Uzi: Yes, I'm me! Who is U?!

Doll: You.

Uzi: Look, just- Stop. I'll read the script.

Doll: ...

Uzi: Ohh...I get it.

Doll: Took you long enough.

Uzi: Shut up. U was just an ordinary child when her parents were killed.

Doll: Well, she wasn't exactly an ordinary child...

Uzi: Don't even try making this complicated backstory even more complicated, Doll, or I swear...

Doll: Fine.

Uzi: Anyway, this guy Jay Cash Jenson was trying to wipe her memory after the incident.

Doll: It was not an act of kindness.

Uzi: Yeah, it was to turn U into a robotic daughter for marketing. This obviously backfired, and U killed everybody in the building with her newly trauma-awakened powers. This was...not the Absolute Solver. This was the Universal Decipherer.

Doll: It's supposed to be a prototype...but it's more powerful somehow.

Uzi: A bit of body-swapping later with Jay Cassandra Jenson later, U ended up in her body. But with no AI, U's operating system utilised the AI that was meant to replace U's AI to become marketing material; making a whole new guy named...Jade Celeste Jenson.

Doll: Anyway, something something robot uprising, something something interplanetary war, something something DarCIE: PRIME.

Uzi: ...I feel like we skipped a lot of steps there. We didn't even explain the whole Lissandra/Cassandra thing.

Doll: People just want fights. Including backstory would be pointless.

Uzi: What about the people that actually like reading the analysis?

Doll: What did you say?

Uzi: I said, what abou-

Doll: Stop mumbling.