Star Crossed (Kellin Quinn Fanfic)

Five

((((( AUTHORS NOTE: I literally cannot stop typing now I think its a medical condition guys help. I also just wanna take the time to thank Kellin Quinn for saving my life so many times, I wouldnt be here writing this without him. So uh. Yeah. That was random. ANYWAY BACK TO THE FANFIC!!! SORRY!!! RAMBLING!!! XD )))))

I cant wait for Friday, I can finally be free from this hell. Its going to be fucking awesome! I'll be happy, with Kellin, and everything's gonna be perfect. I dont deserve this opportunity, I really dont, but Im overjoyed to have been given it nonetheless. I mean, who wouldnt run away with the most perfect man on the planet? Well, thats what he is to me anyway. Apparently him and his friends are starting a band, I cant wait to see what they come out with. I bet it'll be awesome! Im not sure what role Kellin will take on in the band, but he's probably brilliant at it. He's brilliant at everything else.

We're sitting in the park again now, its Thursday. I've recovered from my mini meltdown yesterday, by the tree that stands next to the gate. I cut a couple times again last night, in the bath, so that my mother cant scream at me for that. She'll be screaming at me for being late home as it is. But its totally worth it, because Im with Kellin, and thats perfection in itself. What, you think I have a crush on him?

Pssssshhhhhhhhhhhh....

..

Ok, maybe!

Shut up!

We arent really discussing what we're gonna do once we're out of here, I guess we're just gonna go with the flow. I've never lived like that, my mother is always controlling whatever I do in my life, so to live not knowing whats going to happen? Its a scary yet exhilarating thought! I guess for now we're just getting to know eachother. Seeing as Kellin only just found out my life story, he's asking me for more details on certain things. How it affects me, how I deal with it etcetera. Obviously, I didnt tell him the truth when he asked how I dealt with it, because I dont want to upset him. Maybe one day I will tell him, who knows? For now its staying a secret though. For mine and his sake. If I tell him, he knows everything about me, I've completely opened up to him, and that thought terrifies me. I never let people in. If they get in they'll break me from the inside. I guess its a case of whether I trust him enough to know he wont do that to me. I dont think he will, infact Im almost positive he wont, but there's always that little thought, that little voice in the back of my mind that says:

" Dont do it! Dont open up to him! You've been hurt enough as it is! Do you really want to risk it!?! Seriously!?! Fine, go ahead, see if I care, but if you get hurt its completely your own fault! "

Damn reverse psychology.

I wonder how he feels about me? I mean, he's been complimenting me a lot since I told him my life story, but that could be just to make me feel better, right? Yeah, obviously. He cant MEAN it. Thats ridiculous. He's taking pity on me, thats the only reason he's staying with me, I know it. I should just tell him to leave. But I cant. I need him too much. He deserves better, I know that. But he makes me so happy. I need him to stay. How selfish can I be!?!