Star Crossed (Kellin Quinn Fanfic)

Seven

When will I see him again?

He's gonna be really busy, when will I hear from him again?

Will I be able to leave on my own?

Can I do this without him?

The questions buzz around my head, tears form in my eyes. I might never see him again. He'll forget about me. He only knew me for a week, barely even that! He has no idea how much he means to me, and he never will. He doesnt know that I self harm, and he never will. He doesnt know how much I love him, how much Im going to miss him, how much Im going to suffer without him...

and he never will.

Without him, my life feels empty. I sit outside school for god knows how long. I think I'd rather go back in there for another year than face my mother when I get home. But Im going to have to.

I suppose whatever she says to me is pay back, its exactly what I deserve for believing I could actually be happy. That I actually deserve happiness. Of course I dont, and I was stupid to think that possible in the first place. I should've never let him in. Or rather, I should've, but completely, so that he wouldnt want me to let him go. But its too late now. He's gone. And I dont know when, if I'll ever, see him again.

I check my phone, I've been sitting out here for an hour. I guess its time to go back to my mother now. Maybe she'll kick me out, that'd be fun. And convenient. Actually, no. I need to earn some money and stuff first for my own place. I'll move to Medford, Oregon, thats where Kellins from, he said its really nice there. And its far away from here.

When I arrive home, my mother instantly starts shouting at me. But I cant hear her, only watch as her mouth moves viciously and nothing comes out. The sound of my own heartbeat fills my ears. She storms out of the house. I stumble to my bedroom and lock the door. I flop on my bed. More tears flow. I didnt realize I had any left. Apparently so.

As I continue to sob into the bed sheets, I notice my suitcase, sitting neatly beside my bed, packed and ready to go. And, as I stare at it, I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces in my chest, and I doubt anyone will ever be able to find all the pieces and stick me back together again.