Set me free

The Beast Inside

Nobody knows the dangerous secrets she hides as she walks through the halls at school. Disliked by peers, unwanted by family, she finds comfort in the suffering of herself and others. At night she cries herself to sleep knowing that she's promised a tomorrow. There is no such thing as friends; only the enemies that she creates. But, most of all, she's her own worst enemy. Bringing herself down is a habit now. "How can I be so stupid?!" She says remembering the time she'd stopped herself from commiting suicide. Was put into placement after a little white lie. No one knowing the pain she felt inside. Past boyfriend abused her; Pain no more. Just a numbness stuck in the pit of her stomach. At 16, weighing 189 pounds, she feels she can't walk without cracking the ground. Pushing everyone away is the only thing she knows. She's scared of getting hurt; she's scared of growing old. She cuts herself... It's her escape. She wants to be loved and is sick of all the hate. One day she sits alone on a bench at the park. I walk over to her and she pours out her heart.. yells "I don't even know who you are!" Then she looks up at me, looks me straight in the eye and says "Everyday I wake up hoping to die!" I don't know what to say so I just walk away but this is my mistake because the very next day... It's all over the news. She didn't know what to do. She felt scared, overwhelmed, trapped, and alone. She had stayed up that past night writing this poem:

"Being alone can be wonderful. No one to tell you what to do, how to dress, how to feel. But it's not always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes, being so lonely doesn't feel wise. It feels like a deserted desert. No where to run, no where to hide, nothing to drink, hard to survive. You never really know how lonely a person feels inside, and once it gets past the boiling point... Just like a shaken soda bottle, you explode. Laying lifeless on the side of the road."

A couple of minutes ago, as I sat down to watch the news, I looked at her face on the screen, pale as could be and realized she sort of resembled me. I've felt her pain and sympathized. Yet, I just didn't see what was in front of my eyes. It just takes one smile to brighten a day, and just a few minutes to hear what they need to say. Sometimes our problems seem too big to exist, when we tend to forget about others who are even less blessed.