Set me free

A different Kind of Hero

(Note: This was written a very long time ago. Now, I'm a brain cancer survivor, stroke (X2) Survivor, multiple blood clot survivor, meningitis survivor, and much much more. My doctor's call me their miracle patient. And honestly, I, myself, don't know how I made it out alive. But thank you (to whomever) because it may be scary, it may be hard, but I'm living the best life I can and striving to be the best version of myself I can be.)

On July 5, 2002, I was told I was a diabetic and that I would h have to do insulin shots for the rest of my life. This was the day my life changed forever.

Two years after I was diagnosed I was doing my dinner time insulin shot and figured out that at 365 days in a year and if I do 4 to 5 shots a day, this meant that I had just did shot number 5,200. I prick my finger and have to test my blood sugar 10 to 12 times a day. This meant I had pricked my finger 12,480 times. Now, after 20 years as a diabetic and I now do 5 shots a day this morning, I just did shot number 36,500. I now do 6 blood sugar tests a day, so this means after this morning, I've pricked my finger 40,320 times.

When I was first told I had diabetes I took control of it right away. I was 8 years old and was in the hospital for over 3 weeks, trying to get my blood sugar under control and out of death range. When I was diagnosed, my blood sugar was over 900. I was told I was actually born with it.

I went to the doctor for a check-up a couple of weeks before the summer of 2002. I was at IKEA with my mom getting a doll house for getting SUPER good grades that past year when we got a phone call. Childrens Hospital called my mom and told her it was an emergency and that we needed to get down to them A.S.A.P. I never got that doll house.

While at the hospital, my mom and dad were told to practice giving insulin shots on an orange. After seeing them forcefully stab the needle hard into the orange not knowing what to do, I quickly taught myself how to do my own insulin shots.

At first, I did great taking care of myself. I tested my blood sugar on time, learned how to count my carbs, measured and did my own insulin, and watched what I ate.

As time went on, I started hating what I had to do. I felt like it was my fault and that I should be punished for having it. I stopped taking my insulin, and I developed an eating disorder called Anorexia Nervosa. They then put me on a special insulin called Lantus that would allow me to not have to eat as much and still not allow my blood sugar to go dangerously low. Later on, I found out I was allergic to it.

I have struggled over the years with managing my diabetes. I know that it is really dangerous to let it go uncontrolled.

A long time ago, I went to the Childrens Hospital every 3 months for a check-up on my diabetes. I saw kids in the hallway, some in wheelchairs because they couldn't walk, some without hair because they had cancer, and some with some type of growth problem.

These kids are my heroes. I have never and will never forget about them. I look at them, and I ask myself how they do it? How do they go on day after day? I can't imagine what it must be like. I know that they would probably trade their illnesses and differences for just having to prick their finger and do insulin shots. Sometimes, I get so mad or sad over having the illness that I have. But I try to think of them. My heroes. There are so many of them out there, and I know that they probably would give anything just to trade places with someone like me.

I hate being a diabetic and I wonder why it had to be me, it's not fair, but I know through my "different kinds of heroes" that if they can go on day after day then so can I.