Love In Destin ✔

28 - pointless

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𝑹𝒊𝒄𝒌

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THE SCENT OF freshly cut grass carries in the warm wind, bringing with it the faint fragrances from the pine trees. Blue daisies lie near her gravestone as the wind blows away a few petals up into the air. 'In Loving Memory of Emily Burman and Daisy Burman,' The top of it reads, causing the back of my eyes to sting and my throat to thicken. I can't believe I made it this far without you, Mom, when I didn't think I would.

When life is filled with joy, you go about it without caring about the world and don't bother yourself with mind-bending questions. Grief removes you from that peaceful cycle and makes you question your very existence and purpose in this world. Mom was gone, and she was the very person around whom I surrounded my existence. It's like when planets orbit the sun; without the sun, would they still exist? Mom was my sun, and I was her planet.

Therefore, it took real strength to reconnect and weave myself anew into the fabric of living, even if things were and would never be the same. Mom would've wanted me to give myself a chance for future happiness.

Tremors make the ends of my fingers vibrate, and I curl them into fists. I bite hard down on my lip, tasting fragments of blood as I force back the avalanche of emotions that want to pour out. I watch Noah say a few words, and Dad stands with Starla at his side, his arm snaked around her waist, and he nods. Frustration wells in my chest, building in intensity like a pressure cooker about to explode. I snarl at this mockery to Mom, "Why does she have to be here?" I demand through clenched teeth.

"Not now, Rick," mutters Noah, standing from his crouched position, his features tight.

"You've been asking this since I married Starla, Rickard. Has it not settled in your brain that she's your mother?"

"For the millionth time, it's Rick!" I shout. "And how dare you refer to that woman as my mother when mom is right here?!"

"Rick, stop it," insists Noah.

Dad's Adam's apple bobs up and down as he steps toward me. "Richard..." pleads Starla, struggling to hold Dad back to her side.

"No, Starla," he jerks his arm from her grasp, his face a mask of fury. "From the moment she joined the family, you have been nothing but disrespectful to her. What has she done to you to deserve this kind of treatment?"

"You're one to talk with the way you treat her," I remark, forcing deep lungfuls of air into my system. I shake my head, "That's beside the point. You claimed that mom was the love of your life, and the minute she died, you opened your pants to any woman that came you're way,"

"Watch what you say to me, boy!"

My entire body trembles and tears fill my eyes. I don't think I have the strength to hold them back this time. "The minute she died, you forgot you had two sons who needed you cause you were too selfish to care. Then you thought you could put your foot down and tell us what we can and cannot do with our lives. Noah listened 'cause he lost it, but I won't cause I don't respect you,"

Dad grabs me by the collar and pulls me against him. "Do not test my patience," he says, clenching his teeth.

"Did you even love her?"

Dad's shoulders droop, and his eyes are bloodshot as he looks heavenward. "Of course I loved her," he begins, blowing a ragged breath and squeezing his eyes shut. "You know that I loved her. How can you even ask me such a thing?!"