The broken heart

Chapter 33

He slammed shut the door of the bathroom with gritted teeth and bend over the toilet bowl. Finally failed against the straining muscles he doubled over. The burning throat and the bitter taste of the mouth made him overwhelmed. He make his exhausted body stand up, with the shaky hands he flushed the toilet to get away from the gross smell that make him nausea again. There is nothing in his stomach to throw up but still wave of straining all the abdomen muscles rushed over him making him weak and trembled. He wash his mouth and face wishing to get away with bitter taste in his mouth. It's a bad move though! The moment he unknowingly make eye contact with his self-reflection; 

"There you go ugly smelling bitch! Who wants someone pathetic like you. Everyone will disgust you. Ugly pig! Fat ass! You are hurting every single people out there. You are the most cruelest one. Your Appa is correct you can't do anything properly, just making troubles. He did right by punishing someone like you. You deserve that, actually more than that."

"No" 

"NO! Are you denying the truth! You deserve the punishment. You  hurt everyone and you here are fit and fine. You should be punished. It feeds you right"  "No" 

His own thoughts are making him so low. Kevin couldn't help but here to the demon's voice inside him. His struggle against his own devils make him a failure. Not long ago the voices get loud enough that telling him to punish himself. He got up abruptly, without caring about his already damaged body. He rummaged throughout all the cupboards in the bathroom, but couldn't find anything. His tear stained face was searching for something. Harshly wiping the tears again he exit the bathroom. How much the world can turn against him! He saw the the stationary items brought at the morning. He took the brand new sharpener from the shopping bag and smashed it and got the blade. Sometimes it is lucky to be dumb. He again went to his previous position in the bathroom. His hands are shaking violently, It's being long he lastly do this. It's the days when his father leave him for more than 1 month. He can't hold himself but to do this.

The voices and his own guilt is eating him alive. He don't know how to control his feelings anymore. He broke down completely. With a little painful sob he rolled up his sleeve and he cut his wrist that already filled with old scars. The shiny red blood ooze out from the cut and Kevin's guilt start to flow away just like the blood that flowing down from his hand. He smiled through his eyes, realizing it's working. His shaky hand slowly stabilize when he made the second and third cuts. He don't know what happen but the guilty he felt before fade away and the voice that kept haunting fade away. He feel relaxed. The moment he felt his eyes weight more. With the already exhausted body he felt in to a deep slumber.  

(Guys, I have to tell you this very clearly. This is just a story and I don't encourage this type of things. We should love ourselves no matter what. Just don't get ideas okay. I totally disagree with self harm. We have to be strong and face problems. Back to story)

In Jin's bedroom

Jin is in the balcony looking outside. He is feeling full, seeing all of them are together. He felt something is wrong with Kevin, but he thought it's the way he grew up. Whenever he tried to think this and shrugged the feeling. But he is not sure. 

"Hyung, What are you doing?" 

"Oh my god Suga! You startled me!" Jin complained with wide eyes. Yoongi shrugged his shoulders saying, "I knock few times, The door is opened, I came in"

"Hmm, What happen in the meeting.?" Jin questioned sitting on a little couch in the balcony. 

"I got to know nothing, Those spies don't know there was a boy with that moron" Suga said. 

"Yoon, I don't feel good about the kid, I don't know why, but.." Jin couldn't find words to complete his own thoughts. 

"Me too Hyung, He is strange, He changed a lot, my little Jungwoo is nowhere near him. I just don't know what to do" Yoongi sighed tiredly.