Crush - Leah Williamson

18. Beautiful Crazy

Beautiful Crazy - Luke Combs

"Well, it kinda scares me
The way that she drives me wild
And she drives me wild.
Beautiful, crazy
She can't help but amaze me"
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Darling.

A simple pet name that ignited something inside of me. Even on text I could hear her accent course through the letters. A resemblance of a growl

Shivers on my skin, frozen thumbs above the white screen, her words on my mind. The never-ending conversation with her on the Euro's afterparty, where she begged me to get there even if she was surrounded by her teammates.

Even if Jordan was there, celebrating among friends. Among her lover

Leah had been too drunk to even register Jordan's presence but my mind couldn't let it go. Did she cared if Jordan saw me? Or did she not remember their past as she chugged the umpteenth beer bottle, texting me to please hurry up?

I never built the enough courage to get there, insecurities flowing my brain as I got out and inside the bed repeatedly. While that night I regretted I wasn't drinking tequila on her lap like she had been tempting me, the relief I felt in the next morning was calming.

Too fast too soon.

Lesbians, right?

And as my fingers wrote a short response of 'Im okay, thank you for caring. Adios.' I felt my insecurities rise up again. And anger, oh so much anger.

Because after our last conversation, which I could still see her texts above the new ones she had recently sent, she had promised to take care of herself. A break of dating, of loving.

However it is not the first time I had seen Jordan's hands too cozy on her body like her Close Friend's Storie showed. A tank top too short as Leah's rib tattoo poked out, a dominant hand across her torso, Jordan's head peaking on the other side of the blonde's phone.

Why am I so hung up on this? On them? On her?

I closed my eyes as I let the storie pass onto some random ad I was not troubled enough to see. Alexia's voice cursing me for having interrupted the bridge on Dua Lipa's 'Training Session', a single flick of my finger enough to shut her up.

It took me some time and deep thinking to understand why her text had left me with a ghostly look. Why her mirror selfie with that woman had my insides twisting. And before jealousy or I don't know what feeling started bubbling up inside me, I turned my phone off

"Pequeña, we are here." Nodding along, I closed the door behind me and mindlessly walked to the open door

Flopping myself on the couch beside an exited and cuddly Nala, I sighed once again. I stroke her fur finding great comfort on the ball of fluff that was looking at me as if I was the biggest treat Alexia had ever given her

Leah was a recurrent thought on my mind. Sometimes it was just an image of her face, of the sound of her giggles, of her sparkling blue eyes. Other times resembled those of now, where I was left wondering if she's still eating plain food or if her eyes grew bigger the moment she found out we would meet again, like they did when Jordan asked what we were doing on that little restaurant.

Although there were nights where I would be sleep deprived just from thinking of her, I was coming to terms with the fact that I couldn't let it consume me anymore. Not when I was miles away in another country with more pressing matters. Regaining back my strength in order to kick their asses when I saw her again was on the top of that list.