your heart breaks forevermore

Prologue

still waiting...?

The wind whips at my face, the icy flakes of harsh snow cutting into my flesh and lacerating my skin like tiny pin needles.

"Are you out here?" I call out into the white fog but my voice gets doused by the brutality of the storm, attempting to shield my eyes with my frozen fingers. My hands have gone past the point of numb and I almost miss the limb pain, mildly concerned that at this point I might actually freeze to death out here. Despite the fatal risk of hypothermia I continue on, pushing forward through several feet of heavy snow until my lungs feel like they're about to burst.

"Please, say something! Anything!" The deafening silence that greets me, combined with the not-so-silent screeching of the wind, bears down on my soul and leaves me kneeling down low, my exhaustion overpowering my ability to walk. Even just raising one of my sneakers feels as though it weighs a thousand pounds, a monstrous fatigue attacking my bones.

I will keep going. I have to keep going. I need to find him!

Crawling now, albeit slowly but still crawling, I force my body onward inch by inch until I find refuge under a large tree, leaning against it with all my weight and using it as leverage. I press my face against the exposed bark and breathe in, the stark scent of nature and snowflakes engulfing my nostrils. The frozen shards of my hair smack into my cheeks as a particularly strong burst of wind blows through, casting another freezing wave of pain to encompass any remaining flesh of mine that hasn't been desecrated yet. The sound of a guttural sob breaks through the air, slicing through the frost with a ferocity so intense it seems to shake the branches of the tree above itself.

My God in Heaven, the scream is coming from me.