Loving Yous A Little Bit Hard Sometimes / Bruce Banner

22. Conquer that Diaper

Maria Rose was the love of their lives. She sucked up all their time and energy but she was worth it. No signs of angry green monster hiding inside of her, only her green eyes and twinkling smile up at them. 

"I created a plan, for feedings, naps and scientifically proven-"

"She's a baby. She is going to do whatever she wants." Alisha interrupted. 

"But I made a powerpoint." Bruce countered. 

"Carry on." Alisha agreed. Bruce opened his mouth but Maria whined out. "Was that in your powerpoint presentation?" Alisha teased patting his cheek. Bruce sighed closing his computer. 

"I know you want to do this by the book but there is no one book for babies they are all special and magical in their own right. Unique and different, we can't plan our lives around a schedule. I think if Tony taught us anything it is better to not have a plan when you have a baby. Take the plan,, expect the plan to fail and throw the plan out the window!" 

"You want me to throw my laptop out the window?" Bruce countered. 

"Metaphore honey, you are too tired to understand." Alisha decided. 

"I will change her." Bruce assured moving to the nursery. "Hey what do you think of Mexico?"

"I dont typically think of Mexico." Alisha countered. 

"I found this nice chunk of land, we could-"

"Live in Mexico?" Alisha shook her head. "There are enough things that want to kill us in the states you want to add cartels and-"

"It's basically its own island, super safe and secure." 

"Remember when Loki broke into Stark towers and walked around like he owned the place? Stark towers were supposed to be safe and secure." Alisha countered as Bruce tried to change Maria's diaper. 

"It also had glass windows and a top roof access that didnt really seem-"

"Okay, Tony was stupid." Alisha agreed. "But still." 

"Just-" he fumbled with the diaper. "think about it, somewhere just you and me and Maria." Bruce suggested. "Somewhere with less noise, somewhere we can go to escape." 

"The media has been on us like crazy since the product launches." Alisha agreed. "And since Maria, they all want interviews, but i dont want her in the public light just yet." 

"Hells," Bruce muttered struggling with the diaper tabs. "See! Yes, exactly, so maybe a get away, like tony has all that land." 

"I'm okay with getting land in the middle of nowhere in america." Alisha agreed. "We could stay on clints land, he's off being a vigilante." 

"I want something that is ours." Bruce countered, Maria laughed up at him like she knew he was failing at securing the diaper. "And besides I need reinforcement," he reminded her. 

"I havent forgotten." Alisha confirmed kissing his cheek. 

"God bless it," Bruce hissed fisting his hands. 

"BRuce, you must be a relentless thorn in the side of those that stand against you." Alisha declared. He looked up and met her smug smile. "Conquer that diaper."

"I'm trying." Bruce whined. "My fingers." 

"Shift back then because I'm not doing this all alone. You will have feedings and diaper duty." 

"I know and I'm trying!" Bruce agreed. "Did you know how excited Hulk was to be a-"

"Dont fucking say it!" Alisha begged covering her face with her hands, still shaking her head. 

"-fathe- oh..." Bruce slammed his lips shut. 

"Thats just gross."

"I'm sorry," Bruce agreed. "But he's so happy to be apart of this." 

"I'm sure he is but you are my husband and Maria's father. Dont let Mr Green start thinking otherwise just because you share the same skin as him."