Year of fire-an Upstead story

Chapter 2: Shattered bonds

The intelligence unit realized something was wrong with Hailey, worried about the fact that she was an hour and a half late to work, and they all knew Hailey was never late. They went to her apartment and realized it was completely empty, so they returned to the district and tracked her phone and car to the cafe nearby her apartment. They arrived there to discover a worrisome scene, a smashed coffee cup on the ground along with her badge and phone and blood on the ground and they all realized the harsh reality that Hailey had been kidnapped so Voight told them this is their case and no one goes home until they find her so they all got to work quickly.

The area surrounding the cafe was now a crime scene, once the crime lab arrived and they called it in they spread to look for witnesses and ask people questions and to hopefully get the footage from the café, while Voight and Torres went around the block to see if any more cameras would be able to give them the full picture of what happened and to hopefully track the vehicle they knew she was probably forced in. Once they had cleared the scene and returned to the district, they started looking at every bit of footage looking for evidence, as well as going through witness statements to determine if they could determine who had taken Hailey. While the team were focused on finding any small lead, Voight walked into his office to make a phone call one that he dreaded but knew he had to make.

Meanwhile in Bolivia...

Jay has just gotten back from a raid after arresting one of the major cartels and taking down their entire operation. He was in the middle of giving a report to his higher-up, when his phone started ringing so he excused himself to take the call when he realized he was being called by his ex-sergeant and his wife's current boss Hank Voight, seeing that name he knew what the bad feeling that had been in his gut all day was, he started worrying because he knew the only reason Voight would even be phoning him was to tell him bad news which could only be about Hailey, though he didn't know what he knew something bad had happened to Hailey.

He started regretting everything the minute Voight told him that his wife had been kidnapped and was still missing, but the team was looking for her as they spoke. He was devastated, hurt, and anxious, but overall angry both at the people that took her and at himself for abandoning her immediately started blaming himself, he knew it was his fault that his wife was in this position right now little did he know how much. He made plans with Voight to return home to help with the case and to help the team rescue Hailey. He regretted every day, every minute spent ignoring her calls, and her, and now he wished he could turn back time and make it right or even just say I love you one more time.

He forces himself out of the wormhole his head was starting to take him in and heads to his bunk and starts to pack up all of his stuff so he can head to the airport after informing his sergeant of the situation who helped him get on the first flight back home. While packing up all his belongings, he spots a picture of himself and Hailey on their wedding day on top of his bed on the wall, which has sat there since he arrived on the base in Bolivia.

He also found that with his wedding ring which was sitting on his side table, he hadn't worn it since he stepped off the plane as he wasn't allowed to though he hated it but knew that's what would keep Hailey safe so out of fear for her safety he kept it next to his bed on his nightstand. Jay put the ring back on his finger and finally felt whole again, after feeling the familiar weight of his wedding ring that Hailey had put on his hand a little over a year and a half ago. He finally felt like the man he came here to find again and the man he knew Hailey deserved, even though he felt like he didn't deserve her right now.

He hated the fact that it took Hailey getting kidnapped and possibly on the brink of death to make him realize what he did wrong. He did the one thing he promised his wife he would never do, he abandoned her and his heart shattered when he realized the amount of pain his wife had probably been in this past year, and it hurt even more knowing that he was the cause of her hurt, he knew that when he found her he would try and make up for all the pain he caused her even if it took the rest of his life as he did not want to lose her, he could not ever imagine having to live without her, without the love of his life. Knowing that there was a chance he wouldn't see Hailey again he broke.

He sits on his bed once he's finished packing and calmed down and goes through their messages from before he left and while he has been in Bolivia knowing it would break his heart even more. Jay then decided to listen to the countless voicemails that she had left him after he ignored her calls again and again, that he couldn't bring himself to listen to before. He couldn't hear how broken she was because of him but listening to them with his head in his hands he began to sob and his heart shattered into a million pieces hearing her voice so broken and numb, feeling worse knowing he's the one that caused her to break.

He hears a knock on his door and opens it to find his sergeant informing him a car is ready to take him to the airport. When he realizes that Jay has been crying, even though Jay tried to cover up that fact so he walked into his room to talk with him and hopefully bring him down from the panic he was starting to drown in.

He started by saying "Jay I'm so sorry this is happening and I can't begin to imagine the amount of pain you are going through right now but you are going to find her and you are going to find her alive, yes she will be injured but you will be there for every step of the way, Hailey is strong" confused Jay asks him how he can be so sure of that to which he answers "I know this for a fact because of everything you have told me about her and the way you speak of her strength, tenacity and her beauty which tells me she shares your stubbornness and she will fight to stay with you, but once you find her you need to fix what you broke after ignoring her, you need to fight for her to show her that you still love her"

To this Jay even more confused and curious asks him how he knew that he had been ignoring her calls so the sergeant chuckles before he answers "Your wife called me a few months ago, a couple of days after you had requested to extend your tour, she was telling me how she couldn't get ahold of you and was terrified something had happened to you and wanted to check you were still alive. She then asked if I knew when you were coming home so I informed her you had extended your contract. I could hear how she tried to make her voice sound strong after hearing that, but I could tell that it broke her and have had a couple more phone calls since then with her, she's tried to make herself sound brave every time we talked, but I could always tell she was heartbroken so that also allows me to know you will find her alive and she will get through this" after hearing this Jay feels even worse than he thought he could ever feel he felt like the biggest jackass of all time. After knowing of his wife's history, and knowing he became the man he promised he would never be, his heart shattered into a million more pieces and he starts rambling to his sergeant.

"I wouldn't even blame her if she didn't want to be with me after the way I've treated her this past year and few months. I didn't want to ignore her calls but I did not know what to say to her and I didn't want to hear how broken she was because of me. I don't even know if she would want me there when she's found but I still love her with everything in me. She is still the love of my life. And now I may lose her because I let her slip through my fingers, I don't know what I would do without her, she is my anchor and lifeline she has gotten me through some of the worst times in my life, even though she's been through so much she is still the strongest woman I know I can't lose her, I don't want to lose her, if I lose her every part of me dies with her."

His voice cracked on the last word as he worked himself into a panic attack. His sergeant pushed him to sit down on the bed and helped to bring him down and help to regulate his breathing "Jay, breathe you are rambling and working yourself up, sshhh Jay listen to me you will find her, and you and her will work together to fix this, you aren't going to lose her she loves you with everything in her she has told me repeatedly that she can't hate you for what you did she is hurt, but Jay you will fix this and you will get through it and you two will be together for the rest of eternity, now get your ass up and get on that plane and find your wife so your stubborn ass can fix things with her and I am officially permanently honorably discharging you from the army so you can't run away again"

Once Jay had finally calmed down and his breathing went back to normal, he thanked him as he needed that kick in the ass and gets up, grabs his things, said goodbye to his sergeant, and left without looking back, ready to go home to his wife and fix things between them once he finds her. Though he knew it would take a while before they could begin to fix things knowing the mental and physical state she may be in when they find her.