A Collision of Hearts and Heroes

Chapter 20

Clarissa's POV

Sweet Farewell

Akala ko ay gagaan ang pakiramdam ko kinabukasan, pero naiyak lang din nang naalala ang sinabi ni Gasper sa akin. Napahikbi ako habang nakayakap sa unan, inaalala ang nangyari kaninang madaling araw. I believed everything would somehow turn out fine once I pushed them away, but I still ended up hurting like this.

Oo, kasalan ko. May mali rin ako dahil pinagtulakan ko ang sarili sa kanya sa pag-aakalang hindi lalalim ang nararamdaman ko. Maling mali ako sa parte na ginugulo ko siya nang walang intensyon na paninindigan ko kung ano ang magiging kahihinatnan ng mga ginagawa ko noon. I admit it was all my fault, but do I deserve this? Do I deserve this kind of suffering?

Minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I know it was Zedi, but I was too drained and heartbroken to pay it any attention. The door swung open, and Zedi approached me. Without uttering a word, she enveloped me in a hug as soon as she saw my current state.

Mas lalo akong napahikbi dahil sa ginawa niya. I hug her with great intensity, as if expressing my emotions deeply through the act. Zedi, on the other hand, caressed my head gently to calm me down.

"I'll handle some of your workload for today. Magpahinga ka nalang muna," she spoke.

Umupo ako katabi ni Zedi, magang maga pa rin ang mata sa kakaiyak. She grabbed the comforter and wiped my face with it gently; she even fixed my hair and tucked a few strands behind my ear.

"Can you do that for me?" Tanong ko sa medyo paos na boses.

"Why not? Anything for my babygirl," she stifled a sweet smile.

"Bro, stop treating me like a real baby."

Tumawa lang siya at pinunasan na naman ang pisngi ko na may bakas ng luha. The thought of her being so caring warms my heart. I haven't just found a best friend; I've also found a sister. Sobrang swerte ko talaga na may Atherelle Zedi ako sa buhay.

"Sige na, papasok na ako," she said goodbye.

"Okay, take care," I muttered as I hugged her. "I love you."

"Nagiging clingy ka kapag nasasaktan, 'no?" May halong tawa ang pagkakasabi niya.

"Panira," ngumuso ako. "By the way, papasok ako mamaya. Ihahatid ka naman ni kuya kaya mauna nalang at susunod ako."

"Fine, bye! Mag-ingat ka!"

She kissed my cheek before walking out of my room. Instead of sulking, I took a shower to uplift my spirits a bit. I strive hard to maintain a positive outlook and keep my day relaxed. Pumasok din ako sa trabaho para mas ma-distract ang sarili kahit wala akong gana. Ngunit sumapit nalang ang hapon ay lutang na lutang ako. 

When I went home and had done eating my meal, I decided to go clubbing all alone—hoping to find comfort from my own company. I don't feel like myself, and I was willing to seize any opportunity to alleviate the weight of my emotions. Kung tingin ko sa paraan nito ay magiging masaya ako, gagawin ko.

"Ikaw lang ba mag-isa?" I was approached by a schoolmate.

"Yup, solo muna," I answered.

I was on the dancefloor, and it happened that a few people recognized me—most of them went to my school, too. Hindi rin naman sila nagtatagal sa tabi ko at umaalis din kalaunan. Despite some men attempting to make the first move, I didn't pay attention to any of them, simply because I don't want another involvement with men. Tama na 'yon!

Nang makaramdam ng pananakit sa paa ay umupo ako sa couch. Nag-iinom ako habang nakatulalang nakatingin sa mga taong sumasayaw sa dancefloor. And just as I thought that I could alleviate the pain through this, I found myself consumed by reflections instead.