A Collision of Hearts and Heroes

Chapter 36

Clarissa's POV

Travel

Despite my heart beating rapidly, I slowly lifted my hand to press the doorbell. Kauuwi lang namin ng Pilipinas at dumeritso kaagad ako sa bootcamp ni Gaviel. Hindi na kasi ako matatahimik sa kaiisip sa problema namin ni Gasper. I really have to face him right now and resolve the issue.

A minute slipped by with no response, so I pressed the doorbell again. After a brief wait, Lyle finally appeared and opened the door for me. Dumaan ang gulat sa mukha niya nang makita akong nakatayo roon.

"Oh, nakauwi na pala kayo?" Gulat niyang utas.

"Oo, kanina lang," I answered.

"Gago, ang malas! Kakaalis lang ni Gasper kahapon papuntang US," halong panghihinayang niyang sinabi.

I bit my lower lip and frowned. Though I wish I could hide my disappointment at being late, I couldn't pretend otherwise. Sa ilang araw na nasa Japan kami ay marami akong bagay na napagtanto. I recognize that I was at fault at some point and that my actions were unjustifiable. The grief clouded me so bad to the extent that my thoughts were tangled and unclear.

I don't want to dismiss or invalidate my feelings and reactions from that time, especially considering the recent grief and stress I experienced from my loss. I couldn't entirely blame myself, because I can't invalidate the reality of feeling depressed. But then I have to admit that I was undeniably insensitive to Gasper's side. I also need to acknowledge that I hurt him in the process, too. I need to take responsibility for my mistake and find a way to make it up to him. Hindi ko man lang siya napakinggan at iyon ang gusto kong ayusin. Alam kong maling mali ako sa parte na hinayaan ko ang sariling pangunahan at lamunin ng galit at selos.

"Get inside first. I have something to tell you," Lyle spoke after a long while of silence.

"No, it's okay na. Hindi nalang kasi sana ako magtatagal," I responded.

"I know it may sound biased, kasi nga best friend ko si Gasper. Pero trust me, hindi totoo 'yong kumakalat sa social media. It's only the angle that gives the impression she's leaning on him," ani Lyle.

I bit my lower lip before nodding. Mas lalo akong binalot ng guilt nang malaman ito. I don't need any proof to convince me. I know in my heart that I trust Gasper's faithfulness—something I regret not realizing sooner. Kung hindi lang ako nagpadala sa galit ay hindi na sana umabot pa sa ganito. Hindi na sana naging ganito ka komplikado ang sitwasyon.

"Wait, I have something to show you..." Sabi ni Lyle sabay hugot sa cellphone niya sa bulsa.

He tapped a few times on his phone, then turned the screen towards me. TikTok niya ito kasama ang Astral. They're just lip-syncing, like they're casually vibing to the song. Ilang segundo ay tinutok nila ang camera kay Gasper na nakaupo sa sofa, nakayuko at nakahawak sa cellphone na halatang naglalaro. Anessa sits next to him, slightly peeking at his phone. Medyo nakatabingi ang ulo niya pero hindi ito nasandal nang tuluyan sa balikat ni Gasper. The photo that leaked on social media was taken from a sideways angle, making it appear as though her head was resting on Gasper's shoulder.

"And another thing... Kaya nandito si Anessa sa bootcamp dahil isa siya sa mga brand ambassador ng Astral," Lyle explained.

Nasapo ko ang noo.

I was so inconsiderate and insensitive. Kahit anu-ano na ang iniisip ko kay Gasper noon na hindi naman dapat. Yes, I was indeed suffering at that time, but I never once did consider his explanation.

"Ang tanga ko, Lyle!" I said, almost close to having a tantrum.

"Sobra!" Mabilis niyang sagot.

He burst into laughter as soon as I glared at him.