A Collision of Hearts and Heroes

Chapter 35

Clarissa's POV

Hopes

I was leaning my elbow on the car door's armrest while intently gazing at the raindrops hitting the windshield. My eyes trace the path of each drop as it glides down. The scenery outside blurs, dark and gloomy as if it reflects the depths of my emotions.

Tahimik ang buong byahe hanggang sa nakauwi kami. Ang silid na noon ay pamilyar at nakakagaan sa loob, ngayon ay ibang iba na sa aking nakasanayan. Thinking that I could no longer see Daddy within the house just added the density and yearn I was feeling.

To prevent myself from breaking down, I went upstairs. Papalapit pa lang ako sa master's bedroom ay narinig ko na ang mga hikbi ni Mommy. The door is slightly ajar, which makes the sound of her cries audible. I was torn between offering her support and giving her the space to mourn without any interruptions. Ngunit habang pinapakinggan ang kaniyang mga hikbi ay para akong dinudurog. Akmang maglalakad na ako papasok nang pigilan ako ni kuya.

"Let her be alone for now," aniya.

I slowly nodded in agreement. I glanced at the master's bedroom where I can still hear Mommy's agonizing sobs before I frowned. Kuya placed his hands on my shoulders and enveloped me in a comforting hug.

"Nasa kwarto lang ako kung kailangan mo ako," aniya.

Hinalikan niya ako sa ulo bago naglakad sa pasilyo papunta sa kaniyang kwarto. I slightly bit my lower lip before letting a deep sigh. Pinasadahan ko ulit ng tingin ang kwarto nila Mommy bago nagtungo sa kwarto ko. I headed straight to the bathroom, hoping to wash away at least a bit of the sorrow and anguish from today's events.

Habang nakapikit at dinadamdam ang lamig ng tubig mula sa shower, naglakbay ang isip ko sa kung saan. From the earlier funeral's cries and sobs, the sorrow in people's eyes, Mommy's anguished cries, kuya Emerson's weary eyes, my boyfriend's concerned stare, and the sympathy from my friends.

I wasn't up to doing anything for now. Gusto ko na naman magmukmok sa kwarto, but I need to remind myself that things will get better soon.

"Makakaahon din kaming lahat sa pagkakalugmok," I whispered.

Ginawa ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko para magmukhang maayos pagkalabas ng banyo. I followed my usual routine to try to recreate how things used to be. After ensuring my hair was completely dry, I grabbed my phone and opened a TikTok notification that had just popped up.

My hands trembled and my anger rose like an acid. It was at that moment that I wished I hadn't viewed it. It was at that moment that I hoped I could turn back time and chose not to open my phone.

Mabilis ang paghinga ko dahil sa namumuong galit sa aking sistema. Naikuyom ko ang kamao nang mariin habang iniisip ang nakitang larawan ni Anessa at ni Gasper.

Really, Gasper? You let that fucking girl lean on your shoulder?

I couldn't even put into words the rage that boiled inside me. The feeling of betrayal cut deep. He knows how possessive I am, yet there she was, leaning on his shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world. How could he let it happen, knowing how it would tear me apart?

Damn you, Anessa! Damn you, both!

I can't. Gusto kong manapak at magwala. Gusto kong sugurin si Anessa sa inis, pero pagluha nalang ang tangi kong nagawa.

He did not even consider that I was miserable at the moment. Dinagdagan niya lang ang hirap at bigat ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. Siya ang inaasahan ko sa mga pagkakataong nahihirapan at nasasaktan ako. But in the end, he shattered that trust. He never once considered the weight of my pain or the depth of my hurt. He was a fucking insensitive asshole!