A Collision of Hearts and Heroes

Chapter 11

A/N: In Mobile Legends, offensive language is filtered and can lead to reporting or violations. As a result, players who trash-talk use alternative spellings. Here are the meanings of those words they use:

Bcbc- bobo
Tgia- tangina
W- bobo
Tnng- tanga
Bbbb- bobo

In-game chat style is like this:

[TEAM] or [ALL] Player's IGN (A hero used by the player):

Team—is when the message is only applicable to the team.

All—means the enemies can also read the message.

I'll provide an example using Clarissa's IGN and hero.

[All] Arie (Kagura): her message

Clarissa's POV

Decision

I went home after Gasper, and I talked. Masyadong mabigat ang pakiramdam ko na hindi ko kayang manatili roon. I can't even focus on working since my thoughts are tangled about what just happened. Hindi kami natapos sa pag-uusap dahil hindi ko na kinaya at nagpaalam nalang na aalis muna. And now, I found myself playing ML in my room. Akala ko maiibsan nito ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko, pero walang nangyari. Not even this game could take my mind off him.

His words continued echoing in my mind and suffocating me. I know it's awful, and I despise everything I feel because I want to do good in ML to win him as well. Yesha has my envy. She is an expert in ML, which is what made Gasper fall in love with her. Hindi ko ginustong maramdaman 'to, ngunit parang hindi ko na kayang kontrolin ang sarili ko.

Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko habang nagpipindot sa cellphone. I can't even understand what I'm doing now, which is the reason why my allies ended up trash-talking me.

[Team] Nyxx (Estes): VV mag mage

[Team] tamzz (Yu Sun Shin): Report Kagura

[Team] sakara07 (Natan): Lala naman neto

[All] PUCCINI (YuZhong): inyo na mage namin lang silbe

[Team] tamzz (Yu Sun Shin): ang ttngga mag mage tgia

Kusang tumulo ang luha ko habang binabasa ang mga message ng kakampi ko. This isn't the first time my allies talk shits about me, but this is the initial moment where their words hurt me deeply like daggers. Siguro dahil kanina pa ako nasasaktan at ngayon lang nagkaroon ng rason para mailabas ang sakit na naramdaman. Their trash talks triggered me to let my pain out.

Kahit hindi ko na nakikita nang maayos ang screen ng cellphone dahil sa luha ay patuloy pa rin ako sa paglalaro. My heart feels so heavy and I'm on the verge of sobbing hard, but I allow my tears to fall without making any sound.

"Sabi ko happy crush lang 'to," I murmured to myself with my voice cracking in pain.

I hated how I allowed myself to be in this situation, especially since I used to prioritize my peace before. I used to be so careful with my heart that I didn't care if I hurt anyone or if I became a red flag—all to protect my self-worth. I despise how I ended up being in a situation where I felt stupid and devastated.

Lahat ng ito ay kasalanan ko. After all, it was I who desperately sought his attention, and it was I who pushed myself to love him. All of this was my own will. Parang tinulak ko lang ang sarili ko sa pagiging miserable.

My standing score is 0-6-3 and we're about to lose the game. Patuloy pa rin sa pangta-trash-talk ang mga kakampi ko at patuloy lang din ako sa pag-iyak. I'm not aware of my actions anymore. Basta nagpipindot lang ako habang hinihintay na matapos ang laro.