A Collision of Hearts and Heroes

Chapter 23

Clarissa's POV

Granger

That was the first time in five years that I'd heard any news about Gasper. Ever since he moved to the US, there hasn't been any single update about him. Si Lyle lang ang may alam ako dahil nasa gaming industry siya at nagkataong updated ako pagdating sa MPL. A year after being accepted by Cortex Philippines, he was imported to Cortex Indonesia.

Same with Gasper, his inclination was to grant himself the space needed for healing—that's probably why he chose to join Cortex instead of Astral. Now, both of them are reunited through joining Astral and that only means, they're finally okay.

Kalat na kalat na sa social media ang balita nilang dalawa. The TikTok video of them has been shared on Astral's account, which sparks excitement among citizens, especially given their undeniable good looks. Almost all the content on my FYP is videos or pictures of the two of them. As I scrolled through, a soft smile suppressed across my face. Masayang masaya ako dahil sa wakas ay nangyari na ang matagal ko nang pinapangarap.

They're both doing fine now. They've already healed... and I hope I am, too.

Sa nagdaang limang taon ay hindi ko totally masasabi na wala na akong nararamdaman para sakaniya. Siguro nasanay lang ako? Nasanay lang akong hindi ko na nararamdaman ang presensya niya. Nasanay ako na wala kaming communication at all. At lalong lalo nasanay ako na walang naririnig tungkol sakaniya.

So, does this imply that I've moved on from him already? Iyong nasanay ka na? Does getting used to something is a sign of healing and recovery? Ito ba ang sukatan? Dito ba malalaman kung hindi mo na gusto ang isang tao? I fear I'm merely accustomed to it, but haven't fully healed yet.

Unable to bear it any longer, I grabbed my phone and vented to Zedi—despite knowing she was fast asleep at the moment. I'm feeling completely lost and just needed to get my thoughts out somehow, and Zedi is the only person I can talk to about this. Kahit hindi man siya mag-reply kaagad, at least man lang nailabas ko ang kung ano man ang gumugulo sa isip ko. Kinabukasan ko na nabasa ang mga replies niya at talaga namang mas lalo akong nag-overthink sa mga tanong niya sa akin.

From Zedi:

Sa 5 years ba maraming beses mo siya naiisip o may mga pagkakataon na parang nami-miss mo siya?

I shifted to lie on my back, eyes tracing the patterns of the chandelier hanging from the ceiling of my room. Honestly, there have been countless moments where that kiss of ours just pops into my mind randomly. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I find it hard to get over him. Our last moment together also left a mark on me that even until now, they remain as vivid as ever.

To Zedi:

Not gonna lie, yes, but it's not too often. Kapag naiisip ko siya parang wala lang naman sa akin. Parang nasanay nalang din akong naiisip ko siya randomly.

Zedi suddenly called after she read my reply. Agad ko naman itong sinagot.

"Tumawag nalang ako. Seems like it's a serious conversation," she said through the call.

"I'm just confused... medyo?" I chuckled a bit.

"Based on your rants, it's not medyo." Aniya, "Anyway, sa sinabi mo, parang gusto mo pa rin siya? Kasi why would you even think about a person if you don't like them anymore?"

"True ka naman, but maybe because I valued our last moment together so much?"

"Well, maybe that incident made it difficult for you to let your feelings go. Parang sa pamamagitan no'n ay mas kumapit ang nararamdaman mo para sa kaniya."