"Feisty!" - Scythehammer oneshots.

timeline

Ok guys this is the canon scythehammer timeline and it makes complete sense. /sar I have no clue what I'm doing.

Okay so our story starts out when they're kids, right? Scythe is just a girl from lost temple with a slightly dysfunctional family and Banhammer is this outcast kid who everyone calls a freak. No he was not super shy and "um... hi... I'm.... b.b.b..bb... banhammer..... 👉 👈 " He was unfazed by that shit he was an egotistical fuck at the ripe age of three. /hj

One day Scythe sneaks out, meets Ban, they instantly click, start hanging out, like every day. Her mother was a little concerned. Banhammer would bring up his family sometimes, and it shocked Scythe only a little bit. "Oh yeah my best friend is a DEMIGOD that's no big dealll" kinda mf.

After a while they build a tree house and it's super hype and shit and they're excited and have fun. One day Scythe wakes up and carves B + S (bullshit /j) in the trunk of the tree because like  . They're teens at this point and Scythe has a little eentsy beentsy crush on him. But THENNN before she can show him, he's been shipped off to wherever the gods live so that he can go train to become warden of Banlands. Audible frown from Scythe. She probably cried a little bit. Waited in the tree house for him to come back every day. She only stopped when she joined the Phights.

Fast forward a buncha years. Scythe is a wanted criminal now and Ban is on her tail. Scythe recognizes him and is like "wow. Can't believe I used to LIKE that guy." But Ban is dumb and doesn't realize it's her because he has the stinky blindfold on. Phighting starts up, hosted by Valk and Dom of course, and they both decide to join. They engage in.... "friendly" banter in between matches and eventually Ban finally recognizes her and he's like "OH SHIT"

Through phighting, Scythe realizes that she doesn't really need to be in the cult to do things and get money and stuff. She's also learned about the lives of people like Katana, who is very clearly better off not in a weird sacrifice cult. Somehow, she cuts ties with the cult and has to flee to Crossroads otherwise the entirety of Lost Temple will hunt her down. Also throughout this Banhammer lifted up his blindfold to look at how she changed, and he thinks she's really pretty and would like to reconnect if she wasn't a SERIAL KILLER.

During her escape from the desert and the cult, she gets into a little fight with Broker. By little fight I mean he fucking tackled her to the ground and beat the shit out of her because now she's a traitor! Medkit swoops in and pulls Broker off of her. She runs away.

Wrote a whole ass paragraph for this but I'm deleting that because I might write a chapter about it. Basically she skedaddles away to Ban and is like "HELP" and he lets her in and takes care of her and shit and then she starts catching feels because. Yeah. And then they do the whole confession thingg and it's cringeee and then Scythe is like "Well, I don't actually have a house anymore. I'm moving in with you."and he just. "Okay" and then they start living together and it's cool and they probably get into drama because of it. But she left the cult so she's fine now.

Ummmmm. They do silly things. And date. And go on dates. And maybe kiss a little. And stuff. And then they live happily ever after. And they totally get married and stuff. Medkit is the flower girl.

Okay that last bit wasn't true but the rest of it is how I imagine it would go and uhhhhh. Here. There ya go. Bye bye now. Pats your heads and gives you all a caprisun on the way out.