"Feisty!" - Scythehammer oneshots.

🌟our problem now⚖

Opens children's book while sitting on stool in classroom. Scenario I thought up. Basically they run into a random child. I know canonically Ban would be a terrible parent but IDC. KISS MY ASS. Not srs I'm not mad at you.

Their weapons clashed, sparks flying as the electricity crackled against metal. Banhammer strained, pushing forward, trying to overpower his opponent. Scythe, as usual. Banhammer saw a familiar face poke out from behind the hammer, shooting him a wink. He scowled.

He was just about to win this small battle, until something caught his eye from the side. Glancing over, he recognized a child. That's normal, children run around here, he thought. After a few seconds, he realized that the child was running straight at them. He panicked and pushed off to the side, breaking apart.

The child had cyan horns, that were small and curly. It looked to be about ten. It latched onto Banhammer's foot, as he tried to shake it off. It spoke in a slightly grating, yet adorable voice. "Papa! Papa! Papaaaa!" It's tiny little tail wagged. Banhammer grimaced.

Scythe laughed and Banhammer looked at her desperately, silently asking for help. "Haha! I didn't know ya had a kid, Banny!" She taunted. Banhammer dropped his hammer to the ground as gently as he could, raising his hands in distress. "I don't! I don't know this kid! Help!"

The child, seemingly to have realized there was another person there, let go of Banhammer and darted the few feet across the concrete to Scythe. It clung to her tail instead, slowly climbing up the end. "Mama, mama! Up!"

There was an agonizing silence as the two made eye contact.

Banhammer turned and started to walk away. "Absolutely not. No thank you. I am not dealing with this today." Unfortunately, before he could get far, he heard a voice behind him like a mumble. "Go on, go get papa," followed by quick footsteps. No way in hell is she going along with this, right?

The child, which at this point he'd nicknamed "annoyance", grabbed his hand and jumped around him. Admittedly, it did tug on his heartstrings a little. Then he looked up and saw Scythe walking towards him with a smug expression, and frowned again.

"So, does this me-" "We are not parenting this child, Scythe. We are going to find its actual parents." He reached down and picked up the child, holding it a bit awkwardly. He only had a little bit of experience from holding his younger cousin.

Scythe walked up close, poking the kid on the nose. "What's yer name, buddy?" The child yipped out a response quickly. "Knife!" He reached behind his back, pulling out a knife about the size of his head. Both the older demons pulled their heads further away.

Banhammer chuckled nervously. "Okay kid, let's put that away. Don't wanna harm anyone." Almost immediately, Scythe yelled out the opposite. "Yes yes yes! We do want to hurt people! Don't listen to yer father, he's delusional."

"I AM NOT A FATHER," Banhammer shouted defensively. Dear Illumina, this woman! I'm gonna go insane! With a roll of his eyes, he set Knife down on the ground. Scythe smirked at him, with that stupid smile he hated. Always mocking me. I'll wipe that smile off her face someday.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Knife whining indignantly. "I'm hungryyyyy! Food! Food!" Banhammer sighed and looked around Crossroads for a moment. "Fine. We'll get you some food somewhere.."

Scythe leaned down and grabbed the kid's hand. "That cafe down the road! What was it, Slingshot who runs it? We can go there!" She seemed oddly enthusiastic as she spoke with a new cheerfulness. Banhammer shrugged.

Scythe and the child started walking in that direction, and Scythe was smiling. Laughing. It was a little bit cute. If anything, off-putting.

Banhammer followed behind them, staying a pretty safe distance away. If he could get away with not being seen with them, he would take that chance.

Unfortunately, Banhammer was tall, and could not see Knife run back to him until the little guy grabbed his hand. He looked down with mild surprise, and then looked up to see Scythe holding Knife's other hand. Dammit. Guess who looks like a family now!

Scythe giggled. Banhammer rolled his eyes and looked away, but did not move the kid's hand away. Knife looked like he was on top of the world, smiling as he skipped along the road. Banhammer never entirely liked children, especially the ones that cried all the time, but this one was nice.

Finding this kid's parents is top priority, besides food. Until then, he'll just have to deal with temporarily "adopting" a child with... Scythe. Eugh.

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End! 794 words. This one is so silly and I might make a part 2 if I feel like it. Alright children that's the end of story time today.