Jake's Younger Sister

• shopping and unexpected meetings •

After an hour or so of coaxing myself to leave my messy bed that I hadn't left in days, I finally rolled out of bed. My hair was a deep knotted, tangled mess and my usual bright face was drained of colour. I took a small glance at myself in my dirty mirror and sighed deeply at the state of my appearance, there was so much to do before I looked anywhere near presentable.

I sat down at my vanity, not wanting to waste any more time. The girls had already been waiting for me downstairs for hours. I felt immediately guilty for keeping the girls waiting, and also for the obvious damage and anguish I had caused. I had ruined everyone's spirits. Me and my invective family.

I picked up my concealer, placing the cold liquid on my face with my sponge, covering my deep eyebags. I pondered about what I could buy for everyone before completely giving up in the span of a few minutes as I didn't have the headspace for it. I finished my makeup with contour and blush to regain some colour in my face, my brow gel and of course my mascara. I couldn't go anywhere without mascara. 

Something I believe in is that once you put on mascara, you'll never feel pretty without it. It's so true, however i feel like that with all makeup. In that way, makeup sounds extremely toxic but I find makeup so calming. I quickly dress in low-rise jeans, a lace-trimmed crop-top, white-fox jumper and my black adidas sambas. A quite basic outfit compared to what I usually wear, I lastly place my hair in a ponytail before leaving my room to meet the girls downstairs.

-
The girls were having breakfast downstairs, inviting me to join them however I skipped, I've never liked breakfast. I'm not an morning person and even the thought of food so early makes me nauseous. A few minutes late we were in the car, on our way to the mall for Christmas gifts. I was sat in the back while low music hummed from the aux. I anxiously bit at my nails. My very chipped nails. I had no idea what to buy anyone and to be quite frank, I wasn't in the headspace to be thinking of such things. As I had found out this morning.

I brainstormed while glancing out on the quiet street full of fancy family homes that raced past us. Come to think of it, I hadn't been out in weeks. And that made my heart ache. I normally loved taking long walks at the local park or  deep lake near our house. Everything about it was so perfect - the fresh air, the sun beaming on my skin, the friendly runners and the sound of cars driving past. It was my favourite past-time.

Well, except for spending time with Colby.

Which I also hadn't done in a long time. Culpability coursed through my veins, the only thing that did these days. I had felt terrible for not spending time with my loved ones or doing things I loved when a deep revelation came across my mind, I had pushed all my loved ones away for a person who didn't even love me.

Why didn't she love me?

A question that haunted me. I teared up thinking about those wretched memories however swiftly wiped my tears that brimmed at my gloom-filled eyes. I didn't want the girls to see my crying about something so pathetic but also we were at the mall.

-

We had been meandering through the crowded and bustling mall for an hour, in that time, the girls hands were already filled to the brim with heavy shopping bags. I hadn't bought much, I hadn't had a clue of what to buy anyone. I'm also terrible at buying for other people, I've never done it much. 

I followed closely behind my untroubled and content friends while I pondered on what to buy for them. They deserved so much I couldn't give them. The moon, the stars and although that sounds completely cringe-worthy, I just really love my friends.

I was lost in my own little day-dream when Stas called my name to follow them all into a Tiffany and Co store. I sharply strolled over to the store, mouthing a small 'Sorry' to Stas and began browsing their gorgeous however expensive jewellery. I carefully glanced over each intricate piece until my eyes landed on an perfect, silver and pink double-heart tag pendant necklace that instantly reminded me of Kat. She adored the colour pink and not to state the obvious but her hair was bright pink too. I immediately picked up the necklace and discreetly went over to the cashier to buy it.

A small smile creeped onto my face at the thought of Kat unwrapping my present of Christmas day, I know she would love it. Buying things for others was now becoming a hobby, that I loved. I adore seeing their reactions. After purchasing the piece I strolled over to the girls who were still browsing and of course, gossiping. They always had new news to tell each other.

After perusing around the jewellery shop and leaving, I spotted an Hot Topic - Tara had a deep weakness for anything out of that shop. I mentioned to the girls to go on without me and that I had to make an pit-stop, they were all extremely suspicious but agreed and moved on. As I ventured over to the store, loud pop music played in my ears. Within a few minutes of entering and browsing, I had a basket filled with cute tops and a few pairs of jeans for her. Shopping for Tara was a lot of fun; her style was distinct and mesmerising. I wish I had half her confidence and style.

I texted the girls and met up with them at the car, with a very obvious and large Hot-Topic bag, Tara eyes lit up with happiness and I had to try conceal my bright smile. I placed my bags into the back of the car and hopped in with the others. Shopping was fun but a lot of work and tiring! I don't understand serial shoppers, like Tara. If she could, she would live in the mall! However I'm ready to go home.

Kat began driving out of the bustling car park when she revealed that we weren't going home. "Hey Amora, we have to make an stop at the boys' house. Is that okay?" Kat questioned softly, keeping her concentration on the road. The mention of the boys made my heart stop and my body tense up. "The boys.?" I squeaked, a small shake in my voice. I just wanted to go home, I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw him. Colby. 

I had been ignoring all his messages and even his calls. The thought of even seeing him made me begin to stress, however I didn't want the girls to worry that something had happened between him and I. "No sure, let's go." I answered, chewing the inside of my cheek. Something I caught myself doing regularly when I was anxious. Kat nodded and smiled at me softly in the rearview mirror, a way of telling me non-verbally that everything was going to be okay, maybe even be normal for once.

And for a moment, I believed her.