when you say nothing at all... (boyxboy)

Chapter 20: Secrets in boxes and fascinating people

Hey, 

My finals are over and done with! And I have succesfully finished my first year of university (Yayy). Now I have vacation and more time to update. This chapter isn't very long, but another one will follow very soon. 

Also here you get a little bit of insight in Josh' deeper side. I thought that might be needed. Hope you enjoy and I would love some feedback. Also I would like to know what you think of the story development, Is it all going to fast? What chapter did you like the most so far? Is there soemthing you would like to read?

Thanks in advance

Rolfie....

Josh POV

I was laying in bed, my head buried in my pillow. Sometimes it reasured me to have my body resemble my emotional state. Which in this case would have to be: embarrassed. Even both Daniel and his mother had tried to tell me that my whole mummy facade was no big deal. And actually quite funny according to Daniels mom, I still felt ashamed. Normally I wasn't easily embarrassed but Daniels mom was kind of important. Plus being wrapped up in toilet paper and screeming you're a mummy is on the line, even for me.

Anyway, now I was just laying here trying to catch some sleep, and failing. Daniel had crashed as soon as he hung up on hos mother. He clearly wasn't used to alcohol. I wonder what he thought about or kiss. Or rather what he would think about it tomorrow. I mean, I was pretty sure neither of us drank enough to forget about it, I knew I didn't. But would we talk about it, does he want that. Maybe he wanted to forget. Maybe it was a drunken mistake. Maybe I was blowing things out of perspective. I was blowing things out of perspective. I mean the whole thing barely deserved the word ''kiss'', it was more of a liptouch, over before it begun. Still I knew I didn't want to forget. But that was my problem. I only ever knew about myself, never about other people. At the moment I wanted nothing more than to be more like Daniel (except for maybe be WITH Daniel) , observant and understanding. He would know what he would want, if he hadn't been himself that was. It occored to me that the only one Daniel couldn't figure out would probably be himself. This thought only made it worse though. If he didn't know what he wanted, how was I supposed to know?

Second question: Why do I care so much. Why don't I just ask him? Or try something? I wasn't used to being shy like this. Slightly frustrated (with myself) I turned around to lay on my hip (which was an event that was completely seperated from the fact that I could watch Daniel sleep from this angle). My eyes were caught by a black box resting on Daniels nightstand. Camera....Not for ypu Josh, private possession, I tried to tell myself. But the box lured in me in. Before I noticed I was sitting up in my bed, box resting in my lap. I clicked it open, every vain in my body telling me that this was way more illegal than most things that were actually illegal. I was to curious for my own good.

I switched the camera on, blinking at the bright light of the display. When looking for the galery button a strange feeling came over me. Daniel had showed me a picture or two before, plus he was never too subtle about taking them. In the beginning I had genuinly felt like the pictures where the only thing about him, he wasn't ashamed to show. However at the same time I felt like I found somebodies hiding place. Like when you open a box knowing you'll be finding secrets meant for keeping. I opened the box, everyone would have opened the box. People are just curious.

The first picture (or the last one, gues that depends on how you look at it) flashed on the display. Birds. I breathed out. So maybe I had been extaragating this whole thing. After all, I did have a thing for drama. The picture was beautiful, there just wasn't anything secretive about it. I swiped to a couple of pictures, taking my sweet time looking at them. Daniel had a gift, I had decided. He made pictures with stories attached to them. I could feel how he felt when he took them. I knew what he thought, I could see what he wanted to show. Daniel must see the whole world like this, like a big bunch of emotions and opportunities. It was great being in his head.