Absence

idea 26

A month had gone by since the Sullys said goodbye to Neteyam. A month of mourning, not being able to get back to their normal lives. A month of suffering and being unable to fill a clear gap that invaded their hearts. Jake had talked about heading back to the forest, home, to let the people or grandmother at least know about the death of Neteyam. But his own worries and doubts got in the way of him doing so. Leaving his family alone in Awa'atlu was not something he was willing to do.

Lo'ak barely spoke, mostly leaving the family mauri early in the morning and coming back late in the afternoon. Tsireya was always with him though, helping him with whatever he needed. Neytiri and Jake worried about him, his regressive behaviour wasn't going to help him get better, but he wasn't the only one doing it. Saiya stopped her lessons with Ronal, not that she was expected to continue but it would've maybe put her at ease slightly if she continued. Her days were spent with Kiri and Tuk, inviting them over to her mauri, sometimes she'd find herself at the Sullys mauri for dinner, but before she knew it she was back in her own mauri in the dark.

This was one of those nights. Saiya had walked down to the Sullys mauri and entered smelling the fresh fish Neytiri had just put out for dinner. They all sat down and began to eat, however an extra gap in the table confused Saiya.
"Is lo'ak not coming?" She asked directed at no one in particular.
Neytiri sighed looking at the empty space with steaming fish infront of it.
"He should be." Jake huffed, not even looking up at the space as he blinked profusely.
Just then the flap of the mauri swung open and Lo'ak came in. His footsteps pausing as he realised what he had walked into.
"Sorry i'm late." He said with no actual apologetic tone in his voice. He sat down in his spot looking up directly in front of him to see the last empty spot that would've been filled by Neteyam.

"How many times do we say Lo'ak you cannot stay out this late." Neytiri huffed trying not to raise her voice.
It had become a problem ever since Neteyam passed and it just got worse.
"I said i was sorry. And i'm here aren't i?" The boy retailed, flicking his food about.
"Stop playing with your food." Jake said looking up at his son although his head stayed low.
"I'm not even hungry." Lo'ak muttered as he got up and walked out the mauri allowing a cool breeze to enter. Jake stood to follow his son calling out for him as he left.

Saiya, Kiri and Tuk sat in silence watching the whole ordeal. Lo'ak spoke to them when he saw them, which now became a rare occurrence. Except for the time Saiya would wake up to a knock at her mauri flap in the middle of the night.
Lo'ak would be outside asking if he could come in, which Saiya allowed. His eyes would be puffy and orange, clear signs he had been crying. They'd talk all till the sun rised over Awa'atlu and Saiya taking him back to his family mauri.

*flash back

"Lo'ak?" Saiya said in confusion as the boy stood limp at her doorstep.
"Can i come in?" His voice croaked, dry from sobbing.
"Of course." She hummed stepping aside to let him enter. She walked over to the corner stepping over Neteyams spilled arrows and lit up a lantern to give light inside.

As she turned her eyes landed on Lo'ak who sat on the ground, his eyes glossy and slightly orange.
"Oh Lo'." She whispered as she went up to hug him. She sat beside him pulling him into her and rubbing his shoulder. She knew the feeling of losing a sibling, especially your older brother, the person you looked up to and wanted to be like. The person who would protect you and love you no matter what.

"It's all my fault." He cried gently. He had been holding in everything for the past few days and as much as he wanted to think he was okay he couldn't.
He began to sob in Saiyas arms as she held him close.
"Kehe Lo'ak it's not your fault." (no)

"You were there! If i never even mentioned saving spider he'd still be here!" He said, raising his voice. He looked towards saiya with tears spilling over his water line. He didn't know whether he was looking for reassurance or for her to realise that he was also to blame.